Monday, February 09, 2009

What Other People Think of Me ...

... really is none of my business. But as soon as our awareness shouts that out, we probably will be given tests to see if we really walk our own talk.

I've been given information from a well-meaning person about a group I'm leading. Some of the members of this group are having trouble buying into the new awareness we're learning, probably because of some subconscious conditioning we all need to work through. That's the beauty of group dynamics. Whatever happens in the group is information for each member of the group (including the facilitator!)

I've been told that people from this group are talking about the things they don't like outside of the group and my first reaction (yes, it was a REACTION, not a RESPONSE) was to throw in the towel. "Fine. If they don't want to learn or grow or move forward, we'll just stop." But the beauty of awareness is that REACTIONS don't stop me like they used to. When I can identify them as such, I have a chance to take a breath and RESPOND.

I'm reminded that what other people think of me is none of my business and also that "People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." We are telling people every day how we want to be understood by the way we understand others. So wherever people are in their understandings (including me) is exactly where we need to be.

I don't need to react or even to respond to this situation. I just need to celebrate and be grateful that I'm learning something every day. Any story I can create in my mind about what is or isn't actually happening is not true. Everything we learn and notice is just information and there is no judgment in information. It just is.

So don't be dismayed when things start showing up to test your resolve. Sometimes the "brick walls" simply show up to let us see how much we believe what we say or how much we want what we say we want. There is always a way to get beyond an obstacle, but it may not be immediately apparent.

What do you really want? To be right or to be happy? I'll choose the happy route every day I'm aware that it's an option!


At 4:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wouldn't it be great if we all realized that my reactions to others are my reactions and hold lessons for me to learn. And that my reactions might or might not hold lessons for others but that too is none of my business. Imagine how much better relationships would be! Actually, I don't need to imagine that. I know how it is, and I know you do as well.

At 12:06 PM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...

I do, Dick. So part of me wonders why I even need to write or teach this stuff. Just do it - and be it - myself. Somehow I'm always thinking of how I can share my insights and maybe I don't even need to do that. Do you have advice for me about that?

At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh boy! You opened a can of worms with, "...part of me wonders why I even need to write or teach this stuff. Just do it - and be it - myself."

Geez...where to start? That very question was at the heart of my year-long hiatus from blogging, and decision to ghostwrite for others instead of writing another book myself. In the end I decided to once again share (at least in blogging) because I enjoy it, because it helps me make sense of my own experience, and because I am thrilled when it makes a difference to someone else and perfectly OK if it doesn't.

So the new blog, Riding On Dragons, is primarily a creative outlet and a way of making sense of my own experience. No other wishes or expectations.

At 1:14 PM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...

It's so great to give up attachment to outcomes, isn't it? :) To just BE instead of having to MAKE something happen!


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