Monday, February 18, 2008

What really matters?

So, when you think about everything you do every day, what really matters? How much of what we do - and where we spend our time - is around tasks that matter?

Since one of my master mind groups finished Peter Block's "The Answer to How is Yes," I've thought a lot more about that question. Sure there are lots of things that happen in the world that I have no control over; but there are a lot more things I can control than I actually do, and the biggest of that is what happens right between my ears.

One way to begin to notice how caught up in external events and affairs we have become is to turn off the radio when you get in the car. I know, that might seem like a tough thing to do, but just play with it. Notice what you notice when you've got a little bit of down time. What is that little voice in your head saying?

I noticed things a lot differently yesterday when I was a passenger in a car on a 3-hour road trip. Usually I'm the driver, so yesterday was a great opportunity for me to notice my own responses and reactions to my friend's way of driving. I noticed that I wanted to say things like "slow down" and "that car is stopping ahead" and "this is the exit we want to take" but I didn't say any of those things. I realize that my friend is perfectly capable of driving without my advice. There were times I actually found myself looking out the window and enjoying the scenery instead of having my eyes on the occasional snow that was drifting across the road.

What really matters in interactions like the one I had yesterday in the car? Me asserting my perceived control over the situation or occasional silence to enjoy things I take for granted?

Think about the conversations you have in your life. What percentage of the things you say are statements? What percentage are questions? I'll bet most of us have the statement thing down cold ... why not try a question instead?

Let's get creative in our questioning - and then listen to the answers. Together we can build new awareness of what really does matter, and what really doesn't matter so much.

What are you noticing?


At 2:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Jodee

My problem is that when I focus on things that matter, I am exhausted by 11am!!

The trick it seems is to concentrate on what matters for an hour or two and do the little things later - or just have fun!

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...


Maybe we can find what matters in everything we do - the stuff we HAVE to do and the stuff we GET to do. I don't seem to get as exhausted doing things that matter to me - and I find enough energy for the things I don't particularly love to do.

Keep on having fun, Jo - and keep on reading!!

At 7:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read somewhere that people will be more interested in you if you ask them questions instead of hogging the spotlight and telling them every sordid detail of your life. I am a bit of a control freak but I sometimes keep my mouth shut because I know that what I am about to say is just my way of trying to get a hand in the situation.

At 8:03 AM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...


Awareness is the first step! If we don't notice things, we have no way of choosing different behaviors, so good for you for noticing that silence can be golden!

At 6:10 AM, Anonymous Madambutterfly55 said...

One thing I've learned is things that matter to my heart and soul are soft and quiet,THE world is loud.
This journey I'm on has taught me to be still and sense the tiny to the large things that touch me.And each moment that new things come my way to appreciate it.It may not come your way again...Nothing last for ever the energy that carries us all is constantly change,we are bless to experience the change,,*~*


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