Tuesday, June 15, 2010

A 180-Degree Shift

Most people's true aspirations are to BE something. When we're kids that means BE a fireman, or BE a rock star or BE an astronaut. We don't realize as kids, many times, that we already are BEING what we end up pursuing later: happy.

As we get older, instead of asking what we BE, we start identifying with what we DO, and begin to be judged, categorized, and standardized by the labeling process called "what we DO."

We start understanding that the way to judge success - ours and others - is to decide first that we must HAVE enough of something (usually this is time or money) so that we can DO what we want so then we can finally BE happy.

If only I had learned the reverse sooner: I can choose right now to BE happy, which will transfer into anything I DO which will reveal to me that I HAVE everything I could need or want.

So the traditional model is a continuum that requires the first to obtain or attain the second and third:

HAVE ---> DO ---> BE

and the reverse is:

BE ---> DO ---> HAVE

What will you BE today? What do you already HAVE?


At 12:16 PM, Anonymous DC Jobs said...

Thanks for helping us to shift our mind-sets from a view of scarcity to a view of abundance. It's so easy to waist mountains of time and energy feeling sick about things we don't currently have.

Seems like a waist of the time, energy, and things we do have.

At 1:02 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

I disagree. I think the model is:
BE -> WANT -> DO -> HAVE

and most people actually behave like this, but don't realize it.

At first they are happy and satisfied. Then, by wanting (to be, to do, to have) something they create a state of unhappiness, unsatisfaction, and they start doing something to fulfill their desire. Once they have what they want, they are happy again.

So WANT creates the dynamic of living. The art of living is to control your wanting.

At 6:20 AM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...

Great thought, DC. It is easy to waste time, energy and what we do have!

Frank: Interesting point. Let's take it a step further. It would be so great if people actually acted when they wanted something; but in many cases that want is still kind of passive, in my opinion. It's easy to whine and complain about how things aren't the way we want them to be, but when pressed to actually do something to get what they want, some people will prefer to complain.

So wanting is certainly a step toward action. But, given your insightful observation, what if we looked at the level of wanting, maybe. A next level beyond wanting could be intending, as in "I intend to get a new job" (for example). That intention probably creates a more intense doing which is probably more likely to achieve the want.

The next step, then, might be committing, as in "I am committed to getting a new job." Commitment seems to be the strongest "why" behind achievement.

In all those ways we are spurred to action (the doing) by something inside us that compels us to move beyond the wanting.

In the example of truly BEING something (or being someone who), the doing is not such a struggle or an effort, it is born of who we BE, so it's more natural and less plotted out (in my opinion).

So I love the WANT step in your analogy because you're right, that is what spurs us to action. When we allow our natural BEING to guide us (meaning we are actually BEING a person to whom a new job fits, to use the example), the DOING doesn't seem like such an effort.

Those are just my thoughts about that. Thank you so much for inspiring them in me!

At 3:18 AM, Anonymous Lou Ann Bennett said...

Very succinct! You surprised me with your use of judgement. I like to be surprised. Many times when we meet someone we usually have to put them in the box of what they do and have. Wouldn't it be nice to focus on who they "be", pardon the incorrect English to make my point.

I sometimes bite my tongue to not slip into that habit of asking where they work...like our job is who we are. We (mostly westerners) identify with all the things we do and have that we sometimes miss out on the ability to connect in the moment with the real deal.

Thanks for the reminder Jodee! Judgment is one of those areas for me that stifles intimacy and community.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...

Thanks, Lou Ann! Glad I can help you be surprised! :)

At 1:44 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Very good judgment! Your post has shifted the negative thoughts in me into positive thinking. Positive thoughts are the key for personal development . Thanks for sharing the valuable post.

At 6:27 AM, Blogger Jodee Bock said...

George: Congratulations on making the shift! Thanks for stopping by!


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