Thursday, May 04, 2006


Does that have you humming "Strangers in the Night?" It did that for me, strangely.

But what I'm really reminded of is the distinction between "doing" and "being."

Phil pointed me to a blog post by Lisa Haneberg which really got me thinking. Lisa writes about making a "To-Be" list instead of a "To-Do" list. And isn't that really where we've got it all backwards?

What happened to us? How did we wake up one morning and it was ten years later? How have we let ourselves get to this place? I think it's because we've been so focused on those "To-Do" lists that we forgot how "To-Be."

Here's Shakespeare's take on that whole concept from Hamlet:

To be, or not to be: that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them.

Is it better to BE in the mind or to take arms and DO something? I think there’s a time and a place for both … the question really is WHEN to do and WHEN to be.

Lance Secretan has a similar idea in his book Inspire. He calls it the Why-Be-Do model and this makes so much sense to me as a Life Purpose and Career Coach.

He says its about Destiny (WHY am I here) which leads us to Cause (How will I BE - what will I stand for) which leads us to Calling (What will I DO).

When we get that figured out, we might consider rethinking our need to HAVE things in order to DO more in order to BE happy.

Just choose happy and the pursuit of happiness will stop being your goal. You'll have more time to BE happy or content or peaceful or whatever it is you want to BE.

Just start by noticing your breathing. Taking a deeper breath when you think about it will allow you to DO something that yields more BEING. Let me know what you notice. It's made a WORLD of difference in my life and I invite you to take on Lisa's challenge!


At 1:15 PM, Anonymous Alexander Kjerulf said...

Do vs. be. That's an issue that crops up in many, many situations.

One model I like is be-do-have. Too many people focus waaay too much on what they have, rather than on what they are or do.

It's pointless to me to ask whether you should be do-ing or be-ing in a given situation, since the two are inextricably intertwined.

It's like that experiment where you examine an photon (light particle) to see if it's a particle or a wave.

If you set up your experiment to check for waves, it's a wave. If you set it up to measure particles, hey, it's a particle. This is known as the particle/wave duality.

There can be no doing without being, and no being without doing, and I think we need to stop trying to separate the two and accept the do/be duality.

Bringing us neatly back to do-be-du :o)

At 1:20 PM, Anonymous Alexander Kjerulf said...

whaddaya know. I go to the article you link to, and you've already commented on the be-do-have thing. Figures - great minds, and all that :o)

At 1:24 PM, Blogger Jodee said...

Alex - we really are kindred spirits! Love the example of the photon ... I'm really starting to get interested in quantum physics and this is one of the reasons why.

Thanks so much for adding your wisdom here. I'm so grateful that you're in my blog life!


At 2:06 PM, Anonymous Alexander Kjerulf said...

You're more than welcome - it's my pleasure to be here.

Quantum physics (not to mention complexity science or chaos theory) are a huge inspiration to me, and I count myself fortunate to have been exposed thoroughly to these during my science studies.

At 10:36 PM, Blogger Max said...

I'm always irritated by the countless New Agers who point out that "We're human BEINGS, not human DOINGS," but, I have to admit, there's something to be said for being over doing.

Personally, I try to keep my to-do's balanced with to-be's, and a few to-give's.

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Jodee said...

Love the "to-give" idea! Thanks for passing that along, Max!


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