Tuesday, March 01, 2005

What is "IT" and who are "THEY"?

"They just don't get it."

The "old me" has definitely been guilty of uttering this phrase more than one time, and in more than one context.

The problems with this statement are many, as my more enlightened perspective shows me.

First of all, who are "they"? In my moments of frustration, which lately are much fewer and further between, this statement found its way into my head more than once - and never was I able to identify this odd pronoun. When it came right down to being accountable to myself for this thought, I don't think I was ever able to completely identify the individuals who collectively made up this unit that caused me frustration. Whether a social organization or a workgroup or even a family unit, as I began to really delve deep into the source of my frustration, I couldn't really get more specific than that.

Merely working to identify the source of my frustration began to help break it up.

But the second part of that question - "what is IT?" seems to be the more elusive question for me.

Of course you would expect that the "IT" in question would shift depending upon the situation; however, in my moments of clarity (as my focus was shifted squarely upon myself), the undefinable "IT" usually seemed to grasp similiar characteristics.

"IT" usually came to mean "ME" (as in "they don't get ME") or "the source of my frustration" (as in "they don't understand this situation that I can't understand any better than to use this trite pronoun to encompass my unwillingness to take responsibility for my part in the confusion.").

"They just don't get it" really was a copout I used to avoid having to have meaningful conversations with any one of the elusive members of "THEY."

Beginning to accept this reponsibility doesn't necessarily guarantee an easy out, but it does provide the beginning of a roadmap for some destination, which, really, is a victory.

I submit that "THEY" really do get "SOMETHING." That's where the conversation can begin.


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