You Already Know This Stuff

We're Moving!

2010-08-06T10:14:00.004-05:00

After 6 years at this location, You Already Know This Stuff has a new home!

We've done our first actual branding campaign and have moved platforms, so this blog will be continuing, but just at another location.

So check us out at http://www.bocksoffice.com/you-already-know-blog/

Thank you so much for visiting and commenting here. Hard to believe it's been 6 years!

Happiness is a Summer Morning in North Dakota!

2010-07-29T08:29:00.003-05:00

Seriously.

Sometimes it's just the smallest things that make me happy.

I was taking out the recycling this morning in my jammies (well, the shorts and T-shirt I slept in, which were OK for public, at least in my neighborhood early in the morning, or so I say!) and it occurred to me how happy I was in that moment.

As I loaded up the glass, newspaper and plastic bottles (I know, I'm working on eliminating those bottles, too!), I looked at the eastern sky with the sun coming up and the dew on the grass and the birds chirping away and in that moment, it just didn't seem like life could get much better.

And I noticed that feeling.

That's the key.

Are you aware in any given moment exactly how you are feeling? Do you ever just check in at random times to see?

I wonder what we would notice if we did that more often. What do you think you'd find? More moments of happiness or more moments of frustration, anger, upset, stress?

I found this on a blog this morning (the same place I found the photo above). Makes you think.When I was 5 years old, my mom always told me that happiness was the key to life.

When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when i grew up.
I wrote down "happy."
They told me I didn't understand the assignment
and I told them they didn't understand life.

What are "they" telling you that just doesn't matter anymore? Who are "THEY" anyway?

Feel happy today. Remember what that feels like and recreate it. Anytime. Anyplace.

I know you can do it!

I Want Something New

2010-07-25T11:07:00.000-05:00

OK, I admit it, I'm typically an early adopter. When something new comes out, I want to be one of the first to get it. Whether that's a new book or a new gadget, I want to be a trendsetter.

However, I've begun to rethink that trend, most recently with the launch of the iPad (which I don't have).

I wasn't on the whole iPod kick because when I went to buy my first MP3 player a few years ago, the person at Best Buy told me to avoid Apple products because they suck you in with all the gadgets and upgrades that get you to be dependent upon Apple for the monopoly. Without really thinking about it, I bought an iRiver instead.

So I've been pondering now my decisions over the past few years, and wondering if the decisions have really been mine or if I've actually succumbed to the crowd mentality.

I got the Kindle when Oprah told me to (and I find that I usually do what Oprah tells me) which was good (I do like it), but not so good when, just a couple of months later, Amazon updated and upgraded the Kindle, giving it more bells and whistles for a lower price.

If I'd waited, I maybe could have had a better deal. But I would have missed taking 3 big novels on vacation with me to Hawaii. Sitting on a plane or on a beach with a novel isn't as convenient as the Kindle. And I would have missed the opportunity to be the first of my friends with this new toy.

But the more I think about the reasons for wanting something new, I find most of the time it's because of my desire to provide new information and new learning. I can't help it ... every time I learn something or hear something new, I think about how I can share it with others.

The interesting thing I'm learning is that it's not the new stuff I'm interested in as I think about information; it's actually the old stuff that's the good stuff. My favorite book, Think and Grow Rich, was published in 1937 after 20+ years of research. Nothing new about that. It's the application of that "old" information that feels new to me.

Being an early adopter when it comes to "stuff" isn't as appealing to me as it once was. That's what awareness provides.

But that doesn't mean I'm not eyeing the next generation iPad!

Perfect Sense

2010-07-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

I used to want everything I said to make perfect sense to someone else, because I was looking for praise. Awards. Fame. Acceptance.

Really, that's what it came down to. Acceptance. The external "rewards" of making perfect sense, whether on the basketball floor or in a college class or in a corporate job meant I might be OK ... I might not be a freak or a weirdo or abnormal.

So striving for perfect sense made, well, perfect sense.

But as I grow in my own self-awareness, I realize that I don't really want to make "perfect sense." After all, there is no such thing as perfect, which I didn't realize growing up. Perfectionism is a curse until you become aware of what's actually behind the persona of perfectionism: a longing for acceptance, in my case.

I always had crazy, wacky, out-there ideas. As far back as I can remember, I was asking questions no one else was, and wondering why they all "got it" when I wanted more information. Eventually I learned to stop questioning and follow the crowd so I could fit in, as much as a 5'4" 10-year-old can fit in. I wanted desperately to have some companionship with my wacky thought patterns, but since I didn't feel I could share them for fear I'd be chastised, I took what I could get.

How I longed to make "perfect sense" to someone!

And now, many years (and quite a few more inches in height) later, I find that I really don't want to make perfect sense at all. In fact, I want to invite dialogue, which means we all get to learn from each other while asking questions that may challenge that "perfect sense" sense. When all the players in a dialogue feel refreshed and enlivened, that's my definition of a good day's work.

Are you looking for someone to share ideas, brainstorms, dreams, goals with? Are you looking to get some traction toward action? Contact me and let's put our heads together.

You never know when we might discover and create our own "perfect sense."

What Does It Take to Start a Movement?

2010-07-07T09:14:00.005-05:00

I saw this video (below) on TED, thanks to Debby McKinney on Facebook, and it's really gotten me thinking.

We are so high on leadership these days - and we really need to be. After all, it's enlightened leadership that leads to enlightened results in all areas: business, education, government, churches/spiritual centers.

But what if leaders didn't have followers? Would they still be leaders? Part of me says yes, of course; leadership is a way of being. But maybe it's not the initial leader, but that first follower who has the most impact.

It takes courage - guts, really - to be the first one, the trailblazer. But really, if you're just BEING a leader, does it matter if anyone follows? Perhaps the real courage comes from being that first person to make a decision to follow someone else.

So, when does a pair become a movement? And when does a movement become a mindless mob? One of my mentors says that if you see a crowd of people going in one direction, turn and go the opposite way. If you're following the crowd, you may not be thinking for yourself.

So, what becomes of the collective consciousness that acts in positive, enlightened ways? Is that a possibility? That all who are following are not simply mindless, but have made an informed decision and are following by leading the next person? I believe so. That's what we can learn from this short video from TED.

So have the guts to follow someone you believe in. Or be the lone nut. Either way, you have the potential to change the world!

Awareness: The Pause That Refreshes

2010-07-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

I'm thinking this morning about why it seems the people who are already the most aware are the ones who keep learning and growing and those who seem to "need it" the most are those who remain in the dark.

I hear stories all the time about other people who appear to be really lacking in areas like communication skills, compassion, empathy, respect, understanding. Rarely do we have conversations which involve ourselves and the lessons we can take from those others who seem to monopolize many of our waking hours (and sometimes even our restless sleeping hours).

In Good to Great, Jim Collins wrote about those others in the section about "First Who, Then What" when he said that leaders in organizations spend most of their time dealing with people who maybe shouldn't even be on the bus, instead of concentrating on first getting the people off the bus who shouldn't be there, then getting the right people on the bus and in the right seats. Only then should the bus driver decide where to go (not sure I agree with the order of that comment, but that's neither here nor there).

He said that often leaders are spending way more time on the people who probably shouldn't even be on the bus in the first place, thereby neglecting those champions who aren't really getting much positive attention.

Here's another way to explain that. The percentages may be different for different organizations, but let's assume there is 10% of an organization's employees who are wildly loyal and would do anything for the organization, 10% of an organization's employees who can never be pleased no matter what, and 80% of the employees who lie somewhere in the middle and can be swayed either way.

What happens most of the time is that the attention of the managers and supervisors goes to the bottom 10%, or those people who will never come around anyway. So where the attention goes, there goes the 80%. Instead, wouldn't it make more sense to spend more time rewarding and appreciating the behavior we want to attract the 80% in that direction?

This probably comes from our conditioning as little kids. We hear "NO" far more often than we hear "YES" growing up, so it would stand to reason that we spend more time trying to get others to agree with us than we do with those who already do.

Sometimes just coming to a new awareness is what it takes to get us to see things differently. And it seems those new "aha"s are most sustainable when we come to them on our own, instead of when we are pushed or coerced or forced to take them from others, especially others in authority.

So today, just notice something that frustrates or upsets you and pause. Take a deep breath and try to understand why you are upset. What is the message for you in that upset? If that something is actually someone, is there a chance for a different conversation? Might you ask a question instead of give a command? Maybe there's a way to use the three magic words in a conversation: "Help me understand."

Of course, the key is that you recognize the upset. We really do train people how to treat us by the way we show up. If people are giving you clues through their body language, that's probably the best information you can get, since 55% of communication is visual.

The only person you can change is you. But first you have to be aware.

______________________________________

Would you like some help recognizing what's working and what's not working in your organization as far as interpersonal relationships and communication goes? Check out our website at www.bocksoffice.com for contact information. We'd love to be your partner in effectiveness!

Chain Reaction ... or Change Reaction?

2010-07-02T08:51:00.003-05:00

I had forgotten for a while how much I love blogging, but was reminded of it this morning.

I just re-read a comment to my post here last week from a new blogging buddy, Lou Ann Bennett.

She said in reading my post I had inspired a "change reaction" in her.

I LOVE THAT! Not a chain reaction, which we tend to assume is a negative thing, but a "change reaction" which allowed something positive to happen. I suppose, in the terms we use here in the Fargo Master Mind community, that could be a response rather than a reaction, but maybe we can use it "change reaction" instead of "transformative response" (which sounds kind of stuffy!).

Thanks for that creative insight, Lou Ann. I'm going to use that in my thinking and speaking about change and transformation.

See, isn't blogging wonderful??

The Whack-A-Mole Philosophy

2010-07-02T08:47:00.000-05:00

You're familiar with the Whack-A-Mole game, right? This is where you get the hammer out and as a mole pops up, you whack it down, only to find another one popping up from another hole. The idea is to stay ahead of the moles with your trusty hammer.

This is such a great analogy for the way I've been running my business. Well, maybe it's not the most effective analogy, but it is pretty familiar. And since this is my blog and I get to write whatever I want to, I am going to come clean. I'm tired of whacking moles.

I have a master's degree in business management, but I earned that degree while still holding a W-2. It was great and valuable information, but at the time, it was theory. It wouldn't be another three years before I actually left the security of a full-time job that I would have been able to use that valuable information and, pure and simple: I didn't think about all that when I left.

I would never suggest that anyone do what I did when leaving a corporate job. In fact, I'm not even suggesting that anyone do what I did. Corporate jobs are fantastic - and we need fantastic people working there (this is why I created the company I created: to help superstars stay in organizations).

What I know now, five years after creating Bock's Office Transformational Consulting, is that there is no such thing as a solo venture. Or at least not a solo venture that is wildly successful. Even if an organization remains a sole proprietorship in design, there are still many, many people helping, supporting, and applauding.

But what I've noticed for myself is that I've been doing things that are essentially ineffective for the health, vitality and growth of my business. I've been whacking moles.

How has that been working? Why would I think that moles need to be whacked anyway? Maybe the moles need some TLC. Maybe they want to be invited into some dialogue. Maybe they are really just trying to help. Maybe they are reminding me that they need some attention.

So I've taken the first step to getting out of this mole-whacking mentality: I've contacted a virtual assistant who I anticipate will be able to help me organize the moles.

This is a big step. Insight without action makes no difference and, in my experience, lots of insight without lots of action makes for many more moles.

So I'll keep you posted. Stay tuned to hear about the mole updates and also my experience with Sheryl, the VA.

I plan to have lots to share!

You're not Listening!

2010-06-26T11:51:00.003-05:00

Or, better yet, "You're not hearing me!" I've wanted to shout that at so many "thems" in my past who just weren't getting it.

I've been forced more than once to take my own idea or opinion from someone else who I thought I had communicated with in asking for feedback about said idea or opinion.

"That was my idea," I found myself muttering to anyone who would listen, and usually finding that no one was listening.

That's the point.

All the time I've been accusing "them" of not listening and really not hearing (there is a difference), it turns out I've not been communicating.

I'm realizing now that as a trained communicator (at least that's what the graduation program said under "major") I know a whole lot of "how" but apparently didn't really get the whole "why" thing as it related to communication.

Instead of deciding my intention for talking about anything, somewhere along the line it became much easier to be a victim of what "they" just didn't get. Never mind that without a clear objective on my part as the "communicator," it would have been darn near impossible for them to interpret my "communication" goal.

Of course, this all made perfect sense in my head, where most of the conversations with "them" took place. The problem was "they" were very seldom - if ever - present for those conversations.

Instead of blaming "them" for not getting it or not seeing my brilliant ideas as catalysts for shared action planning, how could the results have been any different than they were?

Really, by taking on the "you're not listening" stance, I had every opportunity to be right about that because I really wasn't communicating in a way that could ever be heard or gotten by said "them" (which mysteriously changes in every circumstance).

So my recent aha within the context of communication is clarity in intention, meaning, before I say anything, I will formulate my own desired outcome and do more asking and inviting than just random idea generation. What is my WHY related to brainstorming? That will be up to me before I throw out the ideas.

Am I really committed to action or do I just want to kick around ideas and hope someone does something?

The formula put together by the universe is perfect. My life is perfectly drawn up to give me the results I've been getting. It's a law. So the only way to change the results is to change the input.

So don't be surprised if I ask you your intended results or outcome when we get together for coffee. Or if I tell you my WHY when I schedule a meeting.

It may take some practice to get different results, but I'm committed to taking that on.

You're not listening ... or I'm not communicating? I know which half of that equation I'm responsible for, and I can do better.

Thanks for listening.

Answers ... or Solutions?

2010-06-23T10:05:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I had the distinct pleasure of working with a fantastic group of supervisors at a not-for-profit organization and one of the topics of our conversation was problem solving.

My theory, thanks to ideas from Peter Block in his book Community: The Structure of Belonging, is that as we as leaders focus mostly on problem-solving, we end up with our heads down, looking at that one specific problem until we solve it. Nothing wrong with that. Until we solve that problem. Then what? We've become conditioned to be problem-solvers, and without problems, who are we? When we are looking only for problems to solve, we will become great reactors, waiting for problems to happen so we can solve them.

The other side of that coin is to become possibility seekers, so that we don't have to be reacting to things that have already happened. As possibility seekers we create opportunities to live into instead of standards to live up to, which, when we fail, require our problem-solving abilities.

So we were talking yesterday about the distinction between answers and solutions. Perhaps our training and traditional education has prepared us very well to be problem-solvers because it is assumed, in most cases, that there is that one right answer. Our report cards, and later our performance reviews, will reflect our ability to find that right answer and recite it in the proper context.

A more creative approach to altering circumstances where we see room for improvement, whether within ourselves or with our teams, might be developing solutions or seeking possibilities. Where the previous approach would imply that there is one right answer, a solution or possibility approach implies that there may be several options, each of which may provide varying degrees of workability.

A solutions or possibility approach does require that one knows the desired outcome, so we will know whether or not we've improved the situation. And that may be the most difficult part. We have been so conditioned to look outside ourselves for "the answer" that we can't even fathom that we could possess a solution by really thinking through the possibilities for ourselves.

If you're looking for solutions to situations rather than answers to problems, you will probably find that an objective outside view can be very helpful. I find that's the case when I work with individuals and teams. Almost all the time a fresh outside perspective can provide solutions much, much more quickly than trying to slog through the situation with all of our conditioning intact.

It's true for each of us, really. I find that most people really are doing the best they can with what they have. Me included. But Einstein really was right: we can't solve the current problems with the same thinking that got us here. In fact, I might suggest that we really can't solve the problems at all unless we shift into possibility-seeking mode and change the way we've been thinking about them.

Ready to shift into new possibilities? Ready to create new solutions instead of seek for practical answers? When would NOW be the right time to do that? Giddy-up!

_________________________________
For more information about shifting your thinking into higher awareness and creating solution-focused outcomes, contact Jodee (jodee@bocksoffice.com) at Bock's Office for a complimentary brainstorming session.

A 180-Degree Shift

2010-06-15T06:33:00.003-05:00

Most people's true aspirations are to BE something. When we're kids that means BE a fireman, or BE a rock star or BE an astronaut. We don't realize as kids, many times, that we already are BEING what we end up pursuing later: happy.

As we get older, instead of asking what we BE, we start identifying with what we DO, and begin to be judged, categorized, and standardized by the labeling process called "what we DO."

We start understanding that the way to judge success - ours and others - is to decide first that we must HAVE enough of something (usually this is time or money) so that we can DO what we want so then we can finally BE happy.

If only I had learned the reverse sooner: I can choose right now to BE happy, which will transfer into anything I DO which will reveal to me that I HAVE everything I could need or want.

So the traditional model is a continuum that requires the first to obtain or attain the second and third:

HAVE ---> DO ---> BE

and the reverse is:

BE ---> DO ---> HAVE

What will you BE today? What do you already HAVE?

Refuting Your Disrepute

2010-06-09T21:08:00.002-05:00

Have you ever had someone say to you (or maybe about you, to someone else) something like, "you're so perfect," or "you think you're such a big shot," or "you're not the boss of me" or something along those lines?

I'm sure we've all heard things like that somewhere in our past. Dick Richards, author of Is Your Genius At Work? notes that often our strengths can be seen as weaknesses by others "for whom those traits become inconvenient or annoying." Dick calls the behavior and attitudes that produce those negative labels your "disrepute."

In his book he says, "When we become annoying and inconvenient to others, their first tendency usually is to assign a negative label to us" (p. 60).

Those negative labels given to us by others can often be powerful clues to our genius, that intrinsic power that fuels our souls.

This idea reminds me of what Marianne Williamson speaks about in her most famous quote:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Other people may feel insecure around your genius, especially if that genius shines light on them and what they're not living into for themselves. But that's no reason to hide it.

This is just one of the activities - and insights - available at the Fourth Annual Genius Workshop with Dick Richards, Wednesday, June 23 in Fargo.

Last Saturday I had the pleasure of interviewing Dick on Life Talk Radio with Renee Rongen. This is a great opportunity to experience a little taste of the Genius Workshop.

Register today at www.bocksoffice.com to reserve your spot and Discover Your Genius!

In Response to Fear ... Is It Really Fear?

2010-06-02T06:29:00.003-05:00

Thank you, readers, for some really thoughtful responses to my post about the dreaded F word. They have caused me to really think about where fear actually resides and have inspired a whole new post.

Fear exists because of our thinking, and our thinking resides in the past. However, that thinking that keeps us in fear is rooted in reacting, not in responding. Responding is being in the moment and using our feelings as a guide instead of what we've been taught is the "right" thing to do in similar circumstances.

One of my favorite quotes is by Emerson (actually, many of my favorite quotes are by Emerson): "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds."

His point is that we should say what we feel today even though it may contradict what we said yesterday. If we don't abort our old actions when we get new information, we will be doomed to live in an endless loop of past thought, which is reacting to everyone and everything else instead of being - really BEING - in the present.

Fear can only reside in the past and based upon past experiences unless it is authentic fear, which has to do with physical survival.

So trust your instincts and your intuition as your guide, even though that may be unfamiliar at first.

When has your gut ever steered you wrong in making decisions?

Yet many of us are conditioned - over time - to memorize the "correct" answers (whatever those are) to pre-existing situations so that we will be accepted, rewarded, encouraged, and, basically liked. The challenge is never in feeling what we really feel, it's in not rocking the collective boat - that boat we've all subconsciously agreed to hold sacred so no responding has to be involved.

And the only way to do that is to suppress those feelings and think our way out of - and thus back in to - submission.

The true way out is to be in the moment and really get in touch with exactly how we are feeling in any given situation. Your body is a powerful guide and is sending you powerful messages all the time. It will take courage, which is often unfamiliar, to really be present and to ask for what you want. And it takes one person with courage to begin to transform the world.

Once one person stands for what s/he really wants and asks for that with confidence and courage instead of backing down, a new precedent will be set.

Be aware - it's that first step that's always the doozie because it challenges the perceived status quo. So even the opinions I hold about myself are not necessarily true, especially if they are formed from the past. I don't even need to take what I hear in my own mind personally if it occurs from the past and in a space of fear.

The uncomfortable feelings that will undoubtedly be stirred up from this new space are not necessarily "bad" - they will produce a response if they are really considered from a new level of awareness. When I played basketball in college, that feeling I got in my stomach and my chest from my pounding heart right before the opening tip was, in some cases, a bit unfamiliar but caused me to be much more present in that moment and aware of my actions so I could be present in the game
instead of sulking or brooding over a past game or even a past mistake.

To recap: where does fear reside? In the past, in reaction mode. If I really stop and think - in the moment, that would be responding, and therefore could not be fear.

So how much of what happens in the world is true action? If I'm not taking action from my own unique perspective, I will be forever destined to wait for someone else to act first, which means I am not thinking and am therefore not in true action. Courage appears to be the missing ingredient. When courage meets confidence - not arrogance, but confidence - the result has to be a new outcome.

Which begs the all-important question: What Do You Really Want?

So with all this in mind, here's the formula in concrete terms (not mathematical equivalents - I was told there'd be no math):

Desire + Action (Courage + Confidence -> Outcome -> Results/Time -> Transformation

Or, in the shortened version: Awareness + Artful Action/Time = Transformation

The higher we climb, the more that we see. The more that we see, the less that we know. The less that we know, the more that we yearn. The more that we yearn, the higher we climb. (Thanks to Dan Fogelberg "High Country Snows.")

The true bottom line now: living is about learning and learning is a continual process. Just when we think we know all there is to know, someone changes the questions. When those questions come from our own minds instead of from something someone else said somewhere, that's when we can know - really know - that we're making progress. The true victory will be when there is no more need for questions; when the knowing is enough and we go from transformation to transcendence.

Until then, I'm polishing up my questions and concentrating on being present - in the moment - outside the fear of the past and other people's opinions.

Who's with me?

Get To ... Have To ... or Want To?

2010-05-25T08:55:00.003-05:00

So, what's the difference between things you get to do, have to do, and want to do? Certainly there are commonalities between those tasks. But isn't it true that mindset has a lot to do with why tasks fall into one of those categories?

I've heard it said that you only HAVE to do something until you WANT to and then you never HAVE to again. I suppose at that point you GET to do it.

Semantics? Maybe. But let's look deeper.

Why is it that there are some things I love to do but others hate them? And some things, like anything that involves details and numbers, that make my heart race (and not with excitement) but light someone else up (in a good way)? Could it have anything to do with the core of who I am?

I'm confident that that's the case. In fact, Bock's Office will be hosting Dick Richards in Fargo June 23-24 to help people discover what Dick calls our GENIUS - that part of us that has been with us from the beginning.

REGISTER TODAY!

The Genius Workshop will be a day for people to uncover that genius and give it a name. Dick says that everyone has a genius that is inevitably linked to all our activities - in life and in work. Our genius can be thought of in a practical way, as the power that comes most naturally to each of us, and as the businesses we are in as people.

Your genius can also be thought of in a spiritual way, as the essence of your soul, and as an answer to why you exist among the human community. Your genius is the essence of how you can best express yourself. It is your natural power, given to you in order that you might fulfill your life’s purpose.

Participants in Day One - Wednesday, June 23 - learn about the concept of genius and begin the work of discovering their own genius through exercises drawn from Dick's book Is Your Genius At Work, facilitated by Dick himself, and dialogue with one another in pairs and trios.

In follow-up interviews, conducted at least five years after participants had attended a workshop in which discovering genius was a major component, they reported that knowing their genius provided them with:

a stronger sense of identity,
clearer direction,
increased confidence,
language to communicate the value they add to work and life situations,
higher work satisfaction and productivity,
greater personal harmony.

On Day Two - Thursday, June 24 - participants who have already participated in the Genius Workshop, either on Wednesday or in previous years, will get an opportunity to explore the concept of Life Purpose.

Those who study life purpose agree that your purpose cannot be invented but can be discovered, detected, or revealed, that your purpose is directed outward, that knowing your purpose allows you to be more intentional and effective in fulfilling it, and that purpose gives focus to a life. Participants in this day will come to see that knowledge of life purpose will arrive only after the demands of ego have been transcended enough to allow that knowledge to enter awareness, and through a process that is experiential and spiritual rather than intellectual.

Armed with that understanding, participants in this day will explore the ways in which purpose might reveal itself, how it may be revealing itself in their present lives, and how it might reveal itself in the future. As in Day 1, they will do this work through exercises drawn from the book, facilitation by Dick Richards, and dialogue with one another in pairs and trios.

Are you ready to achieve that personal harmony and clearer sense of direction for yourself and your life? Register today for the GENIUS AND PURPOSE Workshops. Cost for the Genius Workshop is $150; the Purpose Workshop is $100. Register for both days and save $25!

Get the F out of here!

2010-05-13T07:35:00.000-05:00

I've just got to sound off today about something that's been bugging me for a long time now. I'm learning that the best way to deal with things that frustrate or upset me is to just get them out in the open. I'm a verbal processor, so that means I have to either write or speak about those topics so I can move beyond them.

So today's rant is about that terrible four-letter F word that just sneaks into every part of many of our lives. It's not a new word or a new concept, but it's something we just don't deal with, so it keeps affecting us without us even realizing it.

Yes, I'm talking about F-E-A-R.

The really interesting thing about fear is that a great majority of the time the things we fear never really happen. In fact, I've heard FEAR has used as an acronym: False Evidence Appearing Real. The only authentic fear is fear caused by a situation which threatens our physical survival. In that case, we have a built-in "fight or flight" mechanism which triggers adrenaline and causes us to get to safety.

But anything other than that stimulus is actually inauthentic fear.

The most curious inauthentic fear I know is not the fear of failure. That's probably the most vocalized inauthentic fear - and probably the safest one to admit. Fear of failure keeps you from taking any action, and allows you to stay in the comfort zone where you can maintain some level of control over the outcome. It may not produce a desired result, but it produces a familiar one.

If you take no action, you won't fail, but you can't possibly achieve anything other than what you currently have.

No, the most curious fear I've identified is the fear of success. What if we really do achieve those goals we've dreamed about? Then what? What action will that force me to take? How much further out of my comfort zone will I have to be pushed then? The stories we make up in our heads are so often much worse than reality ever will be. That's the sneaky part about inauthentic fear.

What's a solution? Take a step - a BABY step - in the direction of your dream or goal. Even a baby step out of your comfort zone will provide a new perspective. Identifying the fears in our lives would be a super first step. Where are you complaining about something over which you have no control? That might provide another clue.

The conditions will never be perfect for taking action as long as you are stuck in alibi mode. That's where "Old Man If" has you bound. The entire epilogue of Think and Grow Rich is called "Outwitting the Six Ghosts of Fear" and one section identifies 57 alibis that may be preventing us from achieving our goals. Here's the greatest one of all, according to Napoleon Hill:

If I had the courage to see myself as I really am, I would find out what is wrong with me and correct it, then I might have a chance to profit by my mistakes and learn something from the experience of others for I know that there is something WRONG with me or I would now be where I WOULD HAVE BEEN IF I had spent more time analyzing my weaknesses and less time building alibis to cover them.

Where are you holding yourself hostage to a ghost of fear? How committed are you to changing that? Start today! Get the F out of there!

Inspiration ... or Desperation?

2010-05-03T06:44:00.000-05:00

Why do people choose to change? Or, on the other hand, choose not to?

I learned, in a class not too long ago, that "why" comes in two flavors: inspiration and desperation. And, despite me wishing that all people changed their minds, their attitudes, their business practices, etc. in response to inspiration (toward pleasure), I'm reminded every day how it's really more likely that if anyone changes anything, it's out of desperation (away from pain).

One of the differentiators may be how the stimulus is interpreted (that which causes either pleasure or pain). Is it out of a response or a reaction? To do either involves choice. Reacting means we have given that choice to someone or something outside of ourselves. We find ourselves in reaction mode when we do not have time to create the future because we are so busy handling the present. Heck, in reaction mode, the future can only look a lot like the present because it doesn't require any original thought on our part.

When we respond, we take back control. We anticipate things to come and think about them before saying or doing anything. We get to decide how, and really if, we allow outside forces to affect us, both externally and internally. When we respond instead of react, we actually feel more at ease (or less in dis-ease) and actually have many more opportunities to move toward pleasure instead of away from pain.

Despite the fact that nearly all of us are able to respond to things instead of react to them (that's why it's assumed that when we get to a certain age, we are response-able), it appears that not all of us are willing to do so.

One way to determine whether you are spending more time reacting or responding is to check your results. What's happening in your life? Are you happy, fulfilled, energized, surrounded by great people, feeling pretty fortunate? Or more the opposite - like a victim of your surroundings and upbringing? In other words, when you do make a move in your life, is it away from things or toward them? Think about jobs you've had.

I know for me it took 4 different career moves for me to realize that in each case I was moving away from pain (in desperation) and the cause of that desperation kept following me to the next move. At some point it finally occurred to me that the only thing each of those jobs had in common was me and unless I changed something other than my external circumstance, I was going to keep getting the same result.

Becoming an entrepreneur, albeit an accidental one at first, was the first time I really moved toward something instead of away from it. And that first step in 2003 was taken on really shaky, unsteady and unsure legs. In June of 2005 when I launched Bock's Office, I think I was finally beginning to understand that it is possible - and I was willing - to respond and create something instead of react and wait for something to be created for me.

Where are you in your reaction/response journey? Do you identify more with pleasure or pain? The first step is to become aware of the distinction.

If you're ready to take your future into your own hands, consider joining a Think and Grow Rich study group. We'll be launching several in-person, semi-virtual and virtual groups over the summer to help you determine that for yourself by studying the principles of this classic book, and their application to your own life.

No matter which camp you find yourself in - inspiration or desperation - if you're feeling any restlessness or discontent, this may be the time to act.

A year from now you will wish you had started today! Our next in-person group starts Thursday, May 13 in Fargo. If an 8-week study won't fit into your plans, mark your calendar now for the Genius & Purpose workshops June 23 & 24 in Fargo where Dick Richards will guide us in uncovering, naming, and putting into practice our Genius.

When you're ready to move into response mode, you will be amazed and delighted at all the people and resources at your beck and call. Look for opportunities and they'll be there. Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they'll show up.

Which do you prefer? The time is now!

More Kudos For this Blog!

2010-04-15T06:45:00.003-05:00

We've just been notified that this blog has been named one of the Top 100 Blogs to Help You Find Happiness by the Nurse Practitioner Schools website (we're Number 39 in the category of Self-Improvement)!

Here's what this website says about this list of blogs:

Happiness can be an elusive thing, especially when you're trying to balance nursing school with work, family and having a personal life. Yet, however hard it may be to attain, happiness is always in the end worth the effort. Not sure where or how to begin your journey to a happier life? That's where these blogs can come in handy, offering a wide range of tips, ideas and inspiration to help you change your life for the better.This is another fantastic resource for anyone who wants to improve him/herself by self study. The categories they list are: Happiness, Simplicity, Productivity, Self-Improvement, Attitude, Balance, Relationships, Health, Life Coaches, Motivation & Inspiration, and Career & Money.

Check it out here.

Thanks, readers!!

Status Quo - Fact or Fiction?

2010-04-15T06:43:00.000-05:00

Is there really such a thing as "staying the same?" After all, isn't that really what status quo implies? If you're at all familiar with nature, you realize that no two days are exactly alike. And since, as Wallace D. Wattles reminds us, "there is a thinking stuff from which all things are made and which, in it original state, permeates, penetrates, and fills the interspaces of the universe," we are all connected with all that is anyway.

So if there is no static status quo, it would stand to reason that there are only two ways the thinking stuff of the universe can take us: toward creation or toward disintegration.

So, if we are always either creating or destroying, and we are aware of this, why wouldn't we intend creation?

If we're doing nothing, we are disintegrating. Dis: "do the opposite of" and Integrate: "to unite or combine." So disintegrate really means to break apart; to lose integrity. Gravity works against us if we are doing nothing. But science also tells us that bodies in motion have an effect on other bodies in motion. As long as we are in motion, we will be in creation mode.

Now all movement is not growth. Since we're learning there is no such thing as status quo, if we do nothing, we are still moving; just at a much slower pace. And the direction is due to gravity, which is down, toward density. All objects are in motion, but the slower the motion, the denser the object.

Wouldn't it stand to reason that the same would be true for our physical energy? The faster we move physically, the lighter we become. What about our thinking? The more energized and enlivening our thoughts, the lighter (more light-filled) we become. We use the term "dark" to imply when things are off (after all, have you ever heard of a "dark switch?" When you want to fill a room with light, you turn on the "light switch."). And the term "light" has several connotations which imply things like bright and not heavy.

Given a choice (which we ALWAYS have), why not choose light and creation?

Now apply this to your home, work, or school life. If we are "staying the same," we are actually disintegrating - breaking apart, losing integrity. We tell ourselves we want to maintain the "status quo," but the world around us is changing, growing, moving, learning, creating. If we say we want to take a year off, just chill and maintain, at the end of that year we will actually be 365 days behind because we were not intentionally creating.

Our minds cannot maintain positive and negative thoughts at the same time; one has to take precedence. And if we're not putting in the positive consciously, the space will fill with the negative or denser energy.

So, one way to maintain the energy and the motion is to get around other objects that are in motion. After all, objects in motion will remain in motion when they are influenced by other objects in motion.

Like-minded and like-hearted people are the same way. They are intentionally creating their outcomes and their futures. And they will remain in creation mode when they are around others who are also in creation mode.

That's the true definition of master mind groups.

The next one starts Thursday, May 13 in Fargo. And if that's not convenient for you, let's start another one. Virtual groups can form anywhere in the world. Let me know (jodee@bocksoffice.com) if you'd like to be part of these groups.

Creation or disintegration? It's up to you.

With Good Company!

2010-04-08T05:53:00.003-05:00

I got notification today that this blog has been featured as one of the 70 Essential Personal Development Blogs for College Students by CareerOverview.com!

According to the editor of the website, they feel these blogs will offer students a great place to begin exploring the world of personal development as students, and will also guide their decisions and give them a leg up on emerging from school well-rounded and in control of their lives.

This website breaks the 70 blogs down into topics including The Basics with bloggers like Steve Pavlina, Experts with Tim Ferriss and yours truly (!) among others, Organization with Monica Ricci (among others), Productivity featuring Did I Get Things Done and Thinking Faster, Work and Career with Pamela Slim (Escape From Cubical Nation) and my buddy Alex Kjerulf (Chief Happiness Officer), Personal Growth with The Positivity Blog and Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life, and Finances featuring I Will Teach You To Be Rich and A Penny Saved.

Do a student in your life (and yourself!) a big favor and visit this site for amazing resources in all areas of life.

What a great graduation gift!

Want to win the lottery?

2010-03-28T13:47:00.003-05:00

Why? Is it to have a lot of money or to hold the big check and be on TV? If you know your why and are really clear about it, the actions you will be compelled to take will get you to that goal.

But sometimes we just aren't sure what we want, so we aren't clear about the actions to take.

What are you doing to get what you want? How's it working? Maybe, just maybe, you'll have to take different action.

Take stock today and see if what you're currently doing is working to get what you say you want.

Here's a hint: there are many more certain ways to get a lot of money than hoping and wishing to win the lottery! Get busy with action that moves you toward your dream!

You Really Do Know This ... GET HAPPY!

2010-03-11T10:32:00.002-06:00

LOVE this video my friend Sally sent to me just now. How very simple ... just GET HAPPY! In fact, in the video she even says, and I quote: "You already know this stuff." See? You really do!

Warning to those with sensitive ears ... there is an S word (I think it's the BS word) in this video!

Enjoy!

My Thursday AHA

2010-03-05T06:42:00.003-06:00

I'm working with a client for an hour a week every other week to help their employees with accountability. This is not a mandatory gig, so only those employees who want to participate are involved.

So I said something the first week (about 6 weeks ago) that didn't sit right with a few of them. Apparently, as I was telling them about some things that other clients are doing to achieve their goals, I mentioned an acronym that some of them are fond of saying: "TSRW" or "This S*@t Really Works!"

I had no idea that was offensive, and certainly not as offensive as it apparently was. I heard from others that some were offended, but never from anyone directly (I live on the border of Minnesota, so maybe it has something to do with that whole "Minnesota Nice" syndrome - see more about that here).

Anyway, as I opened up A Course In Miracles yesterday (I've been a student of the Course for about 6 years now), here is what caught my eye rather "randomly":

“Whenever you are tempted to undertake a useless journey that would lead away from light, remember what you really want, and say:

The Holy Spirit leads me unto Christ, and where else

Would I go? What need have I but to awake in Him?

Then follow Him in joy, with faith that He will lead you safely through all dangers to your peace of mind this world may set before you.”

Now I'm really sensitive to anything that can be considered "religious" because I was raised in a fundamental Christian household and the restrictions were suffocating to me, so if I offended anyone with the abovementioned, I apologize.

But this was huge for me. Just another sign that if I just get my ego out of the way (keep my ego, but don't BE my ego), things will work out.

And yesterday when I was back with that client, one of the people who I'd only heard about (one who apparently was offended), actually came up to me and told me she was offended the first week, but interested yesterday. She asked me more about my beliefs and really listened. I was so grateful that she came back and that she told me her reservations about what we were working on in the session.

And we engaged in real dialogue, where we both learned from each other.

TSR does W!

Speeding Through Life in Default Mode

2010-03-02T11:13:00.002-06:00

OK, so this morning, with nowhere I needed to get to in a hurry, I got a speeding ticket. It didn't even occur to me as the police car pulled around to follow me that he was coming after me.

I was on Main Avenue in my town of Fargo, and when he stopped me, he asked if I knew the speed limit. I said, "40." He said, "30. You were going 41." He proceeded to tell me that the speed limit does indeed change to 40 but not for a few blocks. As I looked up above his head, there it was: the speed limit sign clearly marked at 30.

So, as he handed me the ticket for $11, it occurred to me that this is a great lesson for all aspects of my life. Especially when I pulled away and consciously had my speedometer at 30 for the 6 blocks I had to go before it switched. Wow, did that seem slow! If my default speed in town is set at 40, how much am I missing because that default is speeding?

Best $11 I'll spend today, for sure! How about you? What might you notice if you slow down your default?

Thoughts on Olympic Bosses?

2010-02-24T06:21:00.002-06:00

My namesake Wally Bock over at Three Star Leadership (actually, we're not related, but I would love to think we are!) offers a great take on why being a boss is not an Olympic sport. Love his perspective!

Here's his take from his current blog post:

Summer games or winter games, it doesn't matter. When it's time for the Olympics, it's also time for a spate of articles about how much we can learn from the incredible athletes who compete in the games.

But if you're a boss beware. There are four reasons why being a boss is not an Olympic event.

Winning isn't everything, or even the only thing. You have to accomplish the mission. But you also have to care for your people. That means keeping them safe and helping them grow.

You don't get to practice more than you play. In fact, with the exception of the occasional class on a specific topic, you don't get to practice at all. Being a boss is a performance art where learning and doing intertwine.

You don't belong to just one team. In business, you belong to several teams at once. And, just to make it more fun, you may compete with another team on one activity at the same time you're also cooperating with them.

There's no closing ceremony. Every triumph is the gateway to a new challenge. Every time you come up short you must learn from it. Every time your team changes, you have to adjust.

Boss's Bottom Line

Being a boss may not be an Olympic event. You may never a get a gold medal or even a gold watch. But if it's right for you, being a boss is one of the most rewarding pursuits in the world.

Speakers are a Dime A Dozen ...

2010-02-18T06:13:00.000-06:00

... or are they?

It seems money is a big motivator these days when it comes to either hiring or not hiring a speaker, coach, consultant or trainer to take business results to the next level.

When the economy takes a dip, it's commonly believed that supporting human resources is the first cut made.

Is that true?

When could there possibly be a better time to invest in the most precious resources we have than when nothing else is certain?

As a speaker/author/trainer/consultant, I'm finding that individuals understand the value of personal development especially at this uncertain economic time. After all, if they don't believe in themselves now, it will be pretty difficult to convince an employer to believe in them - and continue to compensate them, or even employ them.

Right now individual and group coaching seems to be the safest investment individuals and organizations have, since the return can really be pretty quick.

Are you ready to take your results to the next level of success? Are you looking for a sure return on your money? Now is the perfect time to invest in you.

Unconscious or Conscious Competence?

2010-01-25T10:22:00.002-06:00

Warning: Today's message is a stream of consciousness meandering ... and I'm only writing this after I've written the whole thing, so proceed at your own risk!

So today I'm contemplating competence and wondering when we actually KNOW, not just suspect, that we are competent at a skill or task.

We try so hard to manifest and achieve that which we desire and then we accomplish it. Then we bask - very briefly - in the accomplishment of that. If we are acknowledged in public for our accomplishments, then sometimes it feels like we are set up to have to live up to that. So although we crave that external validation, sometimes we don't want others to know so we don't have to be accountable.

So how are we supposed to get "there" when we don't really know where "there" is? If we've never gone there in the world, can we program our results through our mind by visualizing and experiencing it there? I believe we can; however, there will always be the naysayers in the world who have the loudest voices, and seem to be able to easily derail our dreams and hopes.

If the loudest voice wins, what is winning? I believe that our inner BEING is more powerful than our outer DOING, although it's a much stiller and smaller voice, so we've really got to be quiet to hear it.

So I'm wondering if the goal is really unconscious competence or whether we want to stay awake and acknowledge our competence. If we practice a skill for so long that it becomes second nature to us, perhaps it will be more our BEING than our DOING that helps others along the way. Or maybe by the time we achieve unconscious competence it's not about teaching anyone else anyway.

Modeling is the best teacher, so to model is actually to teach anyway - just not in a conscious, ego-based way.

So, what conclusion can I draw from this verbal processing that I tend to do in public? That becoming unconsciously competent at a skill really doesn't need public proclamation, but that for me it may require a check, every now and then, against higher standards to ensure continued growth and expansion.

This would make sense, given that one of my life priorities is growth and learning.

Thanks for hanging in here with this post. What do you make of it for yourself? Conscious or unconscious competence? Or does it even matter?

Making 2010 a "10"

2010-01-05T10:02:00.005-06:00

If you're ready, once and for all, to live the life you deserve, you'll want to check out Darren Hardy's work: Designing the Best 10 Years of Your Life.

I met Darren, the publisher of the amazing SUCCESS Magazine, at the Napoleon Hill tribute in Anaheim in October (thanks again, Greg Reid, for a fantastic party and the launch of your book, Three Feet From Gold - another winner!).

Darren's program is an 8-week life plan development series which is available, beginning today, January 5, for FREE!

This program will cover:

WHY goal setting is important—it’s good to know why before we jump into how.
HOW it actually works—it’s not as magical and mystical as you might think.
WHY most people fail at achieving goals—don’t miss this or you might fail as well.
HOW this program is going to work—setting your sights and expectations for the process.
WHY he is doing this (for FREE) —Darren thinks it is always important to know one’s motivation behind their actions. He’ll explain his here.

Head over to Darren's Site to begin the best 10 years of your life!

Finding Time - Making Time

2009-12-28T21:32:00.002-06:00

I am once again amazed at how much time has passed since I've last written here. It's not that there haven't been events and thoughts to write about - it's just that I can't believe how quickly time passes when I allow myself to be swept away in the busyness of life.

It reminds me of something David Whyte wrote in his wonderful book The Heart Aroused: Poetry and the Preservation of the Soul in Corporate America. See if you can relate to this:

Ten years ago . . .
I turned my face for a moment
and it became my life.

I've let way too much time go by without doing the things I really want to do and saying the things I really want to say. Here it's been 3 weeks ... but how many other things in my life have I let slip by? How many thank you cards have I not written? How many friends have I fallen out of touch with? How many good intentions do I have but don't act on?

There is a huge distinction between intending to do something and doing something with intention.

I've heard it said that you will never find time for anything. If you want time, you have to make it. How true.

What have you not done in your life because you just don't have the time? If not now, when?

So many of us believe - really believe - that we will become the person we know we are deep inside when 1) we meet the right person, 2) we make a million dollars, 3) the kids are in (insert one - grade school, junior high, high school, college), 4) we retire, etc., etc.

We wait to become what we really ARE until. We believe that if we HAVE a certain something, we will then be able to DO what we really want to do and only then will be BE happy.

What if we've got it all backwards? What if we act as if we already ARE happy? That will cause us to DO what we really want to do and we will realize that we really do HAVE everything we want and need? Sound too easy? Yeah, it probably is. We've spent our entire lives making everything very difficult. We've gotten in the way of our own lives.

We've heard over and over again that we can change our lives by changing the way we think about our lives. That probably sounds too easy. So go ahead and prove that wrong. After all, that's what we've been doing our whole lives - searching for ways we can prove that what we've been doing is the "right" way. And we're sick, and unhappy in our jobs, and unhappy with our families, and bored, and cynical and resigned. How is that working for us? What if we really can change our reality by the way we look at things? We're so bent on being RIGHT that we give up being HAPPY.

What do we have to lose by MAKING time for our friends, families, art, music, beauty, things we love in our lives? Might we really be able to get off the treadmill that just seems to keep speeding up? It might mean we have to shift our perspective a little bit - it might mean we have to give up being right about not having enough time ... about working with jerks ... about having crabby servers every time we go to a restaurant ... about always feeling sick and tired - and being sick and tired of it. We've created that reality - and we get what we're looking for.

What if it's true? What do we have to lose?

Let's not kill any more time or waste it or lose it. Let's try creating our reality by the way we cherish and celebrate and live the time we have. It's not enough merely to survive this lifetime ... let's THRIVE!

It Takes Courage

2009-12-15T07:01:00.003-06:00

As I was re-reading some of my posts from the nearly 7 years this blog has been in existence, I realized there are some ideas I've written about in the past but am just now really living into. So for the last few days of 2009, I'm going to do my part to reduce, reuse and recycle! This one first ran in November of 2007.

I had the honor of attending a learning circle with a group of really cool people a couple of weeks ago and one of the topics of conversation was courage. I learned a lot that night, but one of the biggest takeaways for me was the etymology of the word "courage."

You may already know this, and I should have if I would have just thought of it, but the word "courage" comes from the root "cour" which means heart. So when you have courage, you are willing to follow your heart.

It's kind of a combination of the lion and the tin man from Wizard of Oz, isn't it? In fact, that whole Wizard of Oz story is actually pretty metaphysical, when you really think about it. There really is no place like home - we've had all the things we really want all the time.

At that same learning circle I heard two more things that really blew me away. One was the root of the word "human." We tell ourselves we are only human, kind of as an excuse to let ourselves off the hook for finding ourselves in the space of our present results. But the word "human" actually contains the prefix "hu-" which, at least in ancient Sufi, is a word for God. So being human is the marriage of God and man. Wow.

There was one young man - he was 14 - at the circle who shared something he had been noticing. He said that this teacher had told him at one point that if he didn't have something, he really didn't need it. He had been thinking about that as it relates to his father, who is not present in his life. He said if his father had been present in his life, he wouldn't have the relationship he has with his mother, and he wouldn't have learned the things he's learning from this teacher and probably wouldn't have the awareness he has. Another wow.

Along with these lessons, I've been on a reading kick recently, which might give some explanation for my absence from blogging. Among the books I've read, re-read, or am currently reading are The Answer to How is Yes by Peter Block, Working With the Law by Raymond Holliwell, The Future of Management by Gary Hamel, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life by Wayne Dyer, The Goal by Eli Goldratt, and The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari by Robin Sharma. Each of those books has given me added insight for my work, but Sharma's fable about fulfilling your dreams and reaching your destiny (according to the subtitle) was especially interesting given that I do a lot of work with manufacturing organizations.

One thing this book brought up was the connection between Japanese thinking and external results. Among the terms the book referred to was Satori - instant awakening - which is a Japanese term, and kaizen - which is continuous improvement. In my work with manufacturers who are studying the Toyota Production System and lean manufacturing, kaizen is a familiar term. But the term originated from the Japanese as it relates to self-mastery.

According to Sharma in this book, there are ten rituals of self-mastery that will lead to amazing results in 30 days. I won't reveal the 10 here - get the book and read them for yourself. But what could be accomplished in each of our lives if we had the courage to look inside ourselves and give ourselves 30 days to correct our current course?

Let's create - and allow - much bigger outcomes in our lives - TOGETHER!

Giving Thanks

2009-11-25T08:55:00.002-06:00

I know I've written about this topic not so long ago, but it's becoming even clearer to me so I want to add to what I've already written. And besides, somewhere deep down we really all do know this stuff, wouldn't you agree? When we hear something or read something somewhere that just resonates with us at our core, we know it, right?

That's what it means to hit on a principle. A principle is a general truth, rule, or law that works all of the time for everyone. So when you know something and you know you know it, that's probably a principle.

I'm finally starting to understand what it means to be grateful, which is very distinct from being thankful. And I think that distinction for me is a distinction that carries over to other parts of my life as well.

Being thankful is hugely gratifying - both to the giver and the receiver of the thanks. It's great to be acknowledged for something you did for someone else and it makes you feel great also to be able to sincerely appreciate someone else for something they did. In this scenario there needs to be a thing or a situation that has already been completed in order for the thanks to be given. It is an acknowledgment for a situation in the past that has been done to or for another.

I see gratitude, on the other hand, as a state of being independent of a past event. I don't need anything to have already happened in order to be in a state of gratitude. I can be grateful for current situations regardless of whether or not they are ones I've chosen.

So thanks is a DOING, and gratitude is a BEING.

This is a great time for me to both BE and DO. I'm grateful everyday for the awareness and consciousness I'm continually living into which allows me to see things differently. And I'm thankful for you - my readers - who are taking the time to read what I write and occasionally share your own thoughts and ideas here. Together I know we are up to something big and I look forward to many more posts and exchanges to come!

Encountering Skepticism

2009-11-12T10:13:00.002-06:00

Or is it cynicism?

I wrote a post about this topic a long time ago and it's even a chapter in my book The 100% Factor. And I've been thinking about it again since I saw the new Michael Jackson movie This Is It on Sunday.

It wasn't the movie that got me thinking about skepticism - or cynicism - but the reaction I got from a friend of mine when I told him I'd seen the movie.

I get that we all have our own opinions, formed through experience, upbringing, conditioning, programming, and what one of my fellow master minders yesterday called "mother-father-teacher-preacher" influence.

My friend had a less-than-positive reaction to my attending the movie based on his opinion about Michael Jackson.

Even more interesting to me than his reaction, was my reaction to his reaction. I was very touched and moved by the movie, which caused me to want to utilize every ounce of talent and ability I have to serve the world. I guess I wanted him to be open to my interpretation of who I experienced Michael Jackson to be from that movie. His opinion of Michael Jackson was that he was "odd" and "weird" and "different." I asked him, "different than whom?" and he said "normal people."

So then all these questions went through my head in a split second. Really? Is that true? What is normal? Who sets the standard? Do we all have to be aware of that standard so we know what it means to be normal? Are we not OK if we're not normal? Am I judging him the same way I perceive he is judging me? If we have differing opinions about Michael Jackson, am I normal or is my friend normal? Do I even want to be normal?

Which brings me back to what I perceive as the distinction between being skeptical and being cynical. For me, skepticism is healthy when it is seen in an open-minded way of gathering information in order to make an informed decision. To me cynicism, on the other hand, has an underlying bias built in. There is no ability to create a dialogue (suspension of previous assumptions in order to learn something new) in cynical mode because the person's mind is already made up.

I suppose the fact that I even feel the need to write a post about this topic shows my bias toward open-mindedness, which seems a little oxymoronic. Underlying the entire topic is my innate desire to connect with people on a more-than-surface level, so I suppose that is my own lesson here.

What do you think? Is there a distinction in your mind between skepticism and cynicism? Or does it even matter?

What, really, is authenticity?

2009-11-02T06:43:00.002-06:00

I had the pleasure of attending the celebration of the life of Napoleon Hill in Anaheim October 24-25. This amazing event was hosted by Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter, co-authors of Three Feet From Gold, the next version of the classic Think and Grow Rich.

At this event I had the pleasure of meeting and hearing some really inspiring people including Mark Victor Hansen, Bob Proctor, T. Harv Eker, John Assaraf, John Gray, Les Brown, Darren Hardy (publisher of Success Magazine) and many others, including Greg Reid and Sharon Lechter.

I learned a lot, and met other great folks who were attending the event, and also got a lot of validation for the learning path I find myself on.

One thing that especially struck me, more as a question than an observation, was a question I've learned from Byron Katie's "The Work" and that question was: "Is it true?"

There were some speakers/presenters from whom I felt total authenticity and integrity; and others ... well, I just can't put my finger on it, but it feels as if they are operating out of scarcity and lack mentality. And that observation got me thinking about my own thinking.

How often have I gotten caught up in what I "should" do because it's what "they" think or say or do? I know I've exuded a faker or poser or impostor mentality at times where what I say and what I do are not in harmony. I think there is probably a time in all our lives when we really are "faking it to make it," especially when we're starting out in new levels of awareness.

I am learning that there are cycles even to levels of awareness and that "success" (whether that's in the traditional sense of finances and material wealth or in finally figuring out the combinations that make us truly wealthy from the inside out) can come to people at any level of awareness.

I wonder how often people are saying and doing what they think is the "right" thing when they're really not feeling that way at all. We "fake it," sometimes even from ourselves when we're inauthentic with our actions and our thinking processes. We seek approval from others to validate what we're DOING, but we don't believe them when they tell us what we think we want to hear because deep down we know we're faking it.

So do we ever really want to hear the truth? And whose truth are we seeking? Carl Jung said that “He who looks outside his own heart DREAMS, he who looks inside his own heart AWAKENS.”

This can't be an easy process; however, if we're seeking true authenticity there can be no other way to find it. There is no painless quick fix to the search for authenticity, but there is a painful quick fix: to look inside and come clean.

I believe that authenticity allows connection because when the walls are down, the feelings can be accessed. As we spend so much time in our heads, trying to analyze everything, we distance ourselves more and more from our feelings where the true connections can be made.

Sure we have to begin to think, because that is where can make conscious choices. But the way to alter the results we're getting in our lives is to look at the results, trace them back to the actions which produced them, trace the actions back to the feelings and then look at the thoughts that produced the feelings.

The end result is not to think about every little thing all the time, but to transcend the need to analyze - to get beyond thinking to allowing. This is what Eckhart Tolle was telling us in A New Earth. When we can transcend labeling and judging and even thinking in words, we can allow the access to what Napoleon Hill calls Infinite Intelligence - and what Tolle calls Presence. And, I guess, what I'm calling Authenticity.

Practice BEING today - even for a few moments. BEING goes beyond thinking. It's a state of allowing what is to just be. Notice what you notice and see how that feels. Try not to have an agenda (I understand this could be difficult - the intention is the first step).

Our authentic selves do not have to be scary. If authenticity is where connection happens, that could be a real draw to letting down the walls. Human BEINGS attract human BEINGS.

Who BE you today?

External Validation is Over-Rated

2009-10-03T21:19:00.000-05:00

"The unexamined life is not worth living." -Socrates

I find myself doing most of the examining of my life while driving, and this morning was no exception as I was on my way to my Saturday Master Mind group. My examining lit upon the subject of external validation.

As I drove east on Main Avenue this morning, I wondered why even as a 40-something "adult," I still sometimes realize I'm seeking outside myself for approval or acceptance. I know better, but sometimes I notice that I've made that mean more than it should.

For me the challenge - which I accept happily - is feeling what I feel without judgment. I remember as a kid and later as a young adult learning to stuff my feelings and think my way through every challenge. Consequently I became a great thinker - but I lost some of my empathy regarding others and myself during those years.

It's interesting how selective my memory is when reflecting on those years. I'm sure there were many and varied messages coming my way, but I seem to fixate on the memories of those comments that somehow implied I was wrong, or I shouldn't do or think or say or feel something I obviously felt compelled to do or think or say or feel. Why I gave up my own opinions to others during those years is beyond me now, but I did.

Now, with heightened awareness, I definitely KNOW better, but don't always DO better. Thus the dilemma.

Why do I still find myself at times looking for validation or appreciation or approval from people who can't - or don't know how - to give it? And why do I discount the many, many places I DO receive that appreciation and validation? And, the biggest question of all: why the need for external validation at all?

I find that I'm a verbal processor, so I am a huge fan (personally) of Master Minding: getting together on a regular basis with like-minded and like-hearted folks who I trust to listen objectively when I need to verbally process and give me honest feedback - and feedforward - when I request it (and even when I don't, but need it anyway!). It's not always easy for a recovering perfectionist to hear that I may not have it all figured out all the time, but that's what growth is all about.

Of course, the goal is to get to the point where questioning and processing is no longer necessary - to the point where knowing what I know is enough. But until that time, I'll trust that my own personal growth plan will give me more wisdom so that I can be the best coach and facilitator I can be. I understand more and more that that is one of my gifts, and I just want to be able to provide that for more and more individuals and organizations - and be well compensated for it - so together we really can change the world.

As we improve our communication skills at work and at home, more and more of us will get to that place of just knowing - where we don't have to work so hard to convince people of our point of view, but are open to learning from each other.

The process of waking up is a slow one for me, but gratefully it's a continuous one!

"Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes." -Carl Jung

What's beyond knowing?

2009-09-19T12:34:00.000-05:00

I've always been curious. I don't know what made me that way, I just know that since I learned to read at age 3, I've had an insatiable appetite for information.

But what I'm finally starting to realize is that it's not the information (in form) that fills that appetite anymore - it's inspiration (in spirit).

I used to believe that there would be just one more article, one more book, one more blog that I could read to get the information that would stop the curiosity - fill the hole that I seemed to have inside of me. I wanted desperately to connect with others, but I think somewhere deep down what I really wanted was validation for my questioning nature.

Asking better questions gives us better answers. I think we all can agree that is true. "How are you?" is a question, sure, but the answers we get when we ask that question in passing are about as revealing as a bundled up kid in a North Dakota winter.

One of my "aha moments" around my questioning was when I realized that I've always searched for answers outside myself to determine who I really am. If I can find something that resonates with what I believe about myself from someone with more authority, I can get validation from that source to back me up without revealing too much about myself specifically. If someone else has thought something I think, then I can't be too strange or odd.

But Helen Keller said "What I am looking for is not 'out there,' it is in me."

So, if I know that, I mean really KNOW that, does that change the questions I ask? What does it mean to KNOW something? This blog's title implies that you do know more than you think (and maybe the way that statement itself is worded opens up possibilities in dialogue). But if I really KNOW things, then I wouldn't have to ask questions anymore. And I wouldn't feel the need to defend a position. And I wouldn't feel the need to prove a point or debate a position or need to be right. In essence, if I really KNOW things, I would have peace.

Hmmm.

So the fact that I continue to blog - and ask questions - tells the world that I haven't really found peace and I don't really KNOW anything.

Yet.

The Lost Leadership Skill

2009-09-14T10:31:00.001-05:00

If you were asked about the characteristics you believe true leaders exemplify, what would be on that list? (Go ahead, take a few minutes and do that. I'll wait.)

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OK, do you have a list in your mind? What's on your list?

Trustworthiness? Respect? Knowledge? Passion? Integrity? Confidence? Intelligence? Compassion? Inspiration?

Now before we get on to the one skill I think is really important, I ask you: do you consider yourself a leader? Do you exemplify those characteristics on your list? Are you hoping for those traits to be given to you by those you consider to be leaders but not ready to step into that role yourself? Just something to think about.

Now, onto the one skill I think could move us lightyears forward in our communication abilities and skills in anything we endeavor: the ability to listen first, and then to "get" each other. Listening is a skill we can certain improve through practice. But even beyond the ability to listen is the ability to examine our own intentions and go beyond listening to what people are saying to what they are communicating beyond the words.

True communication involves the ability to create dialogue - suspending previous assumptions in order to learn something from everyone. When we begin to step up our own leadership characteristics before expecting them in others (and add true "getting" to our own list), then I truly believe we will change the world.

Look at your list again. Which of those characteristics you're looking for in others are you willing to take on yourself? I like how Marcia Wieder says it in "Beyond the Secret": What is your WOW - something you can do Within One Week?

I'm developing my skill of "getting" other people this week. Not getting something from others, but getting others. There's a distinction.

I had the pleasure of attending the Sunday night Landmark Education session for my two amazing friends Kelly and Steve last night. Each of the participants was encouraged to take on two new ways of seeing the world based on what they had learned during the course. I'm taking on being charismatic which, according to their definition, is giving up "in order to" and trying to get somewhere; and also being peaceful, which is giving up the notion that "there's something wrong here."

If I'm really WITH the people I'm with this week, I'll begin to GET them. And that's deeper than just hearing them or even listening to them.

What would our businesses, our schools, our governments, and our churches be like if we all just practiced GETTING each other? Reminds me of a John Lennon song somehow ....

Brand New Mind on 09/09/09

2009-09-09T07:14:00.002-05:00

TODAY, 9/9/09 is the day for setting powerful new goals, leaving the past where it belongs, and turning over a new leaf. What will you pack for this journey and what will you leave behind? Make up your mind to transform your mind and get ready for whole new outlook!

As adults, we have some work to do to change our minds from the way we have seen the world. Children have only to make up their minds, so now is a great day to wake up to your life.

One way to hit the reset button on your old programming is to ask new questions of yourself. One really great place to start is by asking yourself “What keeps happening to me? What do all the seeming problems in my life have in common?” It’s simply a matter of changing the way you look at things – changing your mind – to create entirely new perspectives.

Our mind thinks in pictures, not in words, yet most of us , when asked “what does your mind look like,” have never even considered it. Many will conjure up a picture of a brain, yet your brain is part of your body. Your mind is really an activity evidenced in every cell of your being. In fact, it's really the BEING behind the human.

And your mind consists of the conscious mind – the part that can think, can accept, reject or neglect any thought that comes to it; and the subconscious mind – the part that has no ability to reject a thought and must accept whatever comes to it as fact.

The stark reality is that when you were a baby – and some researchers say that this is true up until your early 20’s – the conscious, thinking mind is not even fully developed. So everything that gets programmed into that subconscious – FEELING – EMOTIONAL mind is accepted and conditioned. All the information there gets turned into your PARADIGM – your worldview – and anything that doesn’t fit there feels uncomfortable, even if that worldview doesn’t work anymore.

Your mind is perfectly programmed to give you the exact results you’re getting in your life. The universe works 100% of the time and the way to alter your results – starting TODAY – is to change your mind. SIMPLE … not always EASY.

So today, make up your mind to change your mind about your results. Be willing to undo the subconscious programming that has given you the results you’ve been getting and know beyond the shadow of a doubt that your present results are absolutely no indication of your future – whether your present results are positive or less than positive.

The really fabulous news about that is that by simply waking up, you begin to realize that you have the ultimate control over absolutely everything that comes into your WIDE OPEN mind. You have the ability to accept, to reject or to neglect any thought that occurs to you, REGARDLESS of your past conditioning.

Today, 9/9/09 is a perfect opportunity to wipe the slate clean and start all over with a Brand New Mind!

Reflections on Labor Day

2009-09-07T08:08:00.002-05:00

There are so many thoughts going through my head today, not the least of which is the stark difference between what this day meant to me as an employee and what it means to me today as an entrepreneur.

Although I had a great career during the time I was an employee (great pay, good benefits, interactions with various co-workers which made life interesting), I remember distinctly looking forward to vacation days and holidays so I could do what I wanted to do for myself.

As an entrepreneur, I really do have that opportunity every day. Sure, there are things I don't enjoy doing as much as others, but for the most part every day is a product of my creation and my invention. (Today, for example, on my "day off," I'm going to a coffee shop to work on my next book. Who knew I had that in me? And who knows what that will turn into - or not? Either way I'm learning and growing.)

So why is my mindset so different now than it was 6 years ago when I gave up my W-2 and the perceived security of that steady paycheck? Why can't we find a way to bring our whole selves to the workplace when we're employed by someone else? I have a feeling that's what my next book is going to be about - the pursuit of happiness (spelled correctly!) at work. Or maybe the decision to be happy in life and then show up at work or something like that.

We'll see what happens. I'm grateful to the idea that's found me, at least for now. If in everything I take on I continue to grow and learn, then no project or activity can possibly have been in vain. What will I have to show for it? An expanded mind that serves me better than ever in absolutely every endeavor.

Thank you to everyone who works to make this country grand ... and this world a better place to live. I'm dedicating my career to supporting the folks who believe in their workplaces and want to make each day an exciting growth opportunity for everyone employed there. Please let me know how I can help. At Bock's Office we are committed to creating memorable and effective learning experiences that expand peoples' thinking and allow them to live their capacity.

Watch for more information about the new book (which, I think, was just created during this blog post!). Now I'm accountable for keeping my word so, here goes.

It'll be a labor of love conceived on Labor Day!

Enjoy the day - I know I will!

Fear ... of Success?

2009-08-25T13:02:00.000-05:00

OK, I'm starting to understand that there are two ways of looking at the world: through the eyes of fear or through the eyes of love. If it's not one, it's the other. Of course, without that awareness, I wouldn't know that I had a choice about how I see the world. And without the choice, I really would be at the mercy of my circumstance, whatever that might be.

So, given the opportunity to choose, I choose love. Got that.

If it is that simple, why isn't it easy? Or does my saying that make it so?

I think I speak for many out there who understand that fear still has a hold on us at some level. As we read Think and Grow Rich, we understand the ghosts of fear that have kept many people stuck: 1) Poverty; 2) Criticism; 3) Ill Health; 4) Loss of Love of Someone; 5) Old Age; 6) Death.

Now I may be wrong, but I believe that as we've evolved somewhat in our thinking and awareness, not so many of us are as affected as we once may have been by some of these fears; however, I also believe that there are others that have taken their place.

The one I'm most curious about - and I don't believe I'm the only one - is the fear of success. What's that about?

I did a talk a while back called "Getting Beyond the Fear Factor," where the participants were invited to come up with their own definition of fear, including the factors that keep them in that state. When I asked people in this particular workshop to share their fears, I got some of the typical responses: my kids' well-being, that I'll be able to retire without worry, snakes (!), failure (which always comes up) and one woman I remember said "success." That's not a new one, so we broke it down.

She was in sales and was working for a company where her quotas were set for her. She didn't want to "succeed" because she knew it would mean higher quotas and more work for her to achieve the goals someone else set for her. So I asked whether that definition of success: achieving goals and then having to do more, be more, was the way everyone defined success. One woman was very clear that her definition of success involved elements like a happy family, freedom, flexibility to do whatever she wanted, and peace.

What's scary about that?

So really, for many of us, the fear of success probably lies somewhere in our definition. I'll bet for every person who claims fear of success as one of their limiting beliefs, there is something in his/her early programming that involved some sort of external element - measuring up to a standard, having to do more as a result of a goal reached, or maybe even an overshadowing of someone else's accomplishments (a younger sibling, a classmate, a friend).

Our upbringing and our early conditioning is based on elements we can understand as children whose reasoning and logical thinking skills just aren't physically developed yet. We learn concepts like sharing through our physical senses and we just can't understand why we would want to give half our candy bar to our brother because it means we're left with only half. We learn that sharing means losing and we translate that to the sharing of information as we grow up. Keeping our ideas close to the vest means that we won't have to lose our intellectual property. We see that we can be right about seeing the world the way we've always seen it, and wonder why not everyone sees things the exact way we do.

And that's just one area. Our own worthiness as well as our learned relationship with money are two other areas that might keep us stuck. "If I make lots of money, then I'll have to worry about how to not lose it." "If I get that big house, then I'll have to clean it." "If my business is successful, then I'll have to put in more hours." We fall back into those old patterns, and more often than not being right - even if what we're right about is no longer true - becomes more important than living in a new paradigm.

This is actually a phenomenon called "Impostor syndrome," which, according to Wikipedia, is the belief by some people that regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study or what external proof they may have of their competence, they remain convinced internally they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are actually frauds. Although much evidence points to their true success, they dismiss it as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be.

The really interesting thing about concepts like this Impostor Syndrome is that it's real to the people who suffer from it and those who don't can't even fathom it. Fear of success? How crazy is that? You don't want to make money? You're nuts! You actually sabotage your own victories so others won't feel bad around you (those are the phony phonies - people who don't actually identify with the Impostor Syndrome, but feel they should!).

So, is it enough to just know ABOUT this syndrome and to identify with it in some way? Or are we really ready to get beyond it? Perhaps instead of looking for the answer, which in some ways comes from outside yourself and is someone else's way of solving an uncomfortable situation, we might do better to come up with a really compelling WHY for actually getting past this limiting belief.

I know that when the WHY is big enough, the HOW somehow materializes and we discover solutions we didn't even know we knew.

I'd love to use this idea as a topic for a Master Mind dialogue - or perhaps a community dialogue in our Wednesday evening gatherings here in Fargo. Is this something you'd be interested in pursuing and learning from others? Let's start the dialogue here.

Let's get beyond the fear of success and take on bigger and bigger challenges. As Marianne Williamson reminds us, "we've got a world to save."

Now that's a success I'm willing to stand for!

Steve Farber is coming to Fargo!

2009-08-15T18:29:00.002-05:00

In the video below, Steve Farber gives an overview of his new book Greater Than Yourself. Watch and be inspired - and join us September 30 to experience Steve Farber, live and in person!

Register for Steve's presentations in Fargo at www.bocksoffice.com. Sponsorship opportunities are also available - contact Jodee (jodee@bocksoffice.com) for more information.

Go Ahead - Take The Leap

2009-08-03T07:37:00.004-05:00

I must admit, before I got the opportunity to read the preview copy of this book, I had never heard of Rick Smith. But I'm adding this book to my list of favorites, and Rick Smith is now my Facebook friend.

This book is very inspiring to me because in it Rick proves, through various stories (both his and others), that anything is possible for those who really know what they want. We've all been stuck at one point or another in our lives and careers, and Rick proves that this does not have to be a career breaker. In fact, it might be at that point of restlessness and discontent that the best ideas can come to us. The trick is to act on those ideas.

During his career as an executive recruiter, Rick hit a burnout stage. Instead of becoming disengaged, Rick decided to create a night and weekend opportunity for himself - with his boss's blessing - to interview highly successful people and find the commonalities (sound familiar, Think and Grow Rich fans?). His research found its way into a book, The 5 Patterns of Extraordinary Careers, and the book took off.

To make a long story short, Rick did such a good job at his night job, that he was relieved of his day-job duties and found himself brushing off his resume. From there, Rick tells the story of how he created World50, or w50 for short: a network of the 50 most important chief market officers, CFOs, heads of human resources, etc. from around the globe (see w5 0 for more information). What began as a wild idea, has turned into a very lucrative career.

In addition to his own story, Rick shares stories from others who took what may seem to be unreasonable leaps to achieve equally unreasonable success in their career aspirations. He sums up the transformations of these people in three counterintuitive principles:

1) To unlock your potential, you don't need to change who you are. Instead, match up what you do with what you love to do - your greatest strengths and passions.

2) You don't need to go it alone. Big, selfless, simple ideas attract a supportive team and multiply your successes.

3) You don't need to make dramatic and risky changes. There are ways to stack the deck in your favor gradually, with little or no risk.

The book is currently available for pre-order on Amazon, and will be released in September and would make a great master mind study.

How's Your "I" Sight?

2009-08-01T18:19:00.002-05:00

Back in 2006 I finally took the leap and had lasik surgery to correct my vision, which had been poor since I was in 3rd grade. I remember the first speech I gave on the Monday after my surgery. I called it "I Can See Clearly Now" and I used all the metaphors I could think of that married vision and leadership. It went over quite well.

In the Master Mind groups I facilitate, I hear time and time again about the things participants don't like - government, education, bosses. But that doesn't last long in those settings, because we are dedicated to standing for what we DO want, as opposed to complaining about what we DON'T want.

So I've been thinking again about the vision metaphor and am now in the process of taking it to the next level by creating a leadership immersion experience for leaders who are ready, once and for all, to transform their results and focus on what they DO want.

The class is called "Transforming Your Leadership I-Sight" and here is a synopsis:

Our conditioned reactions produce most of the results we get in our lives. Since we spend most of our waking hours at work, it stands to reason that the way we are at work translates to the way we are at home. If you have a bad day at work, you may find yourself taking that frustration out on your family when you get home. What's going on here?

There's more than meets the EYE, but most of the time we don't want to meet the I.

We just can't see that when we HAVE problems, we ARE the problem.

When we are blind to the problem (we turn a blind eye/I), all the solutions we can think of to address that problem will actually make the matter worse. We look outside ourselves for "the answer," not realizing that the only answer is in us.

As leaders, we are most effective when we make matters BETTER, not worse. If we are not awake to the I, we will actually undermine our own objectives.

The results we create, produce and allow in our lives are in the I of the beholder.

This immersion experience will enliven the desire for teamwork, enhance individual accountability, magnify the capacity for achieving results, and deepen satisfaction and happiness.

There is no painless quick fix to the problem, but there is a painful quick fix: Meet the I.

Painful does not mean bad. Coming out of your comfort zone is going to be uncomfortable, but it means you're growing.

I know the benefits of taking the leap into the unknown of higher awareness - I've experienced and witnessed them. But I'm not sure about the marketing of this experiential learning. Any ideas to invite leaders to meet the I?

If not now, when? If not you, who?

Important Questions

2009-07-27T09:03:00.000-05:00

Ever since I read Peter Block's The Answer to How is Yes, I have altered the way I ask questions.

In fact, this book resonated with me so much that it was one of the reasons I named my company "Bock's Office Transformational Consulting."

It was Block who first taught me that "transformation comes more from pursuing profound questions than seeking practical answers." In fact, that very statement really rocked my world because it helped me see that all my life I have been in desperate pursuit of the "right" answer instead of what really resonated with me.

What I am learning from facilitating now close to 25 master mind groups is that I am not the only one who has been asking less than productive questions.

The main issues I can pinpoint in organizational behavior, thanks to many of these master minders, are 1) Knowing exactly what we want (WE being employees, but in many cases, leaders as well); 2) Identifying for ourselves the why around the what (creating a vision); 3) Determining the best method for conveying our what to parties who need to know and 4) Asking for help and support in achieving those "what's."

Why do we have so much trouble identifying our wants? I talked to a reporter when my book The 100% Factor first came out. He wanted to know why my book would be relevant for business people. I told him it would be helpful for people who realize that there may be areas in their lives that could be improved, but they're not really sure where to start. He just couldn't fathom that anyone would buy that book. His point was if they were looking for some help from a book, they would already know what they want.

Is that true? I'm hearing more and more from people who really are at a crossroads in their lives - career, family, whatever. Maybe that reporter's view was from businesspeople who really didn't want to admit to themselves that they didn't have it all figured out. Maybe that's the niche for my book - and for this blog, and for what I discover happens in master mind groups. People can let down their hair - be authentic - share their dreams, their hopes, their fears.

I believe it's time for us to get REAL - with ourselves first, and then with others. And I believe it's crucial to not try that on your own.

There are lots of opportunities to join or form a master mind group. We've got some virtual groups starting now to study Think and Grow Rich. Groups are limited to 10, and all that's required is a phone and the book (which comes with your registration). Contact me (respond to this post) if you're interested.

Will there be new questions? Sure. But with new questions come new answers.

If not now, when? If not you, who? TAKE THE LEAP. The time is now.

Give me your soul ... I'll give you health insurance

2009-07-19T22:32:00.000-05:00

That's a pretty cynical title, I know, but it was inspired by a conversation I had a couple of weeks ago with a former corporate attorney who has escaped what she describes as the tyranny of her corporate life.

Although she didn't know it at the time, her being let go by her organization was actually a blessing in disguise.

I'm making a lot of assertions in this post, but what I gathered from our conversation was right along the lines of a John Grisham novel. Of course it's tough to be "downsized" and to lose the paycheck and benefits of full-time employment. But what my friend didn't realize until she no longer had that regular job was how much that paycheck was actually costing her in quality of personal life.

As we talked more about her experience in Corporate America, it became clearer to me that, at least in her experience, the powers that be really didn't want her heart or soul; they just wanted her expertise and her loyalty. In exchange, they gave her childcare, health insurance and a fairly hefty salary. The key, from what I learned in our conversation, was the word EXCHANGE.

Is that what's happening for most employed people in Corporate America today? Are bosses consciously asking for what my friend reported: brawn but no brain?

Perhaps I'm an eternal optimist, but I find this a little disheartening. I really believed that this would be an exception: that most people would be encouraged to develop their whole selves and bring all of themselves to work, where we could create more fulfillment for employees, less turnover, more productivity, and overall, happier people.

Is that just a dream? Or do you know of companies or organizations that do allow their employees to develop higher awareness and bring all of themselves to work?

My blogging buddy Alex Kjerulf lives in Denmark, which 20/20 reports is the happiest country on earth. Alex would agree. His company is called Happy at Work where he is the Chief Happiness Officer. His blog is called Positive Sharing and he makes his living telling people around the world how (and why) they could be happy at work.

Thanks to Alex's work and blog and what it demonstrates, I'm holding out hope that Corporate America isn't an either/or place to work and we will be able to learn about and share even more examples of what happens when people are happy at work. The leaders today who we're hoping for are those who demonstrate the effects of doing business with head and heart attached.

How about soul AND health insurance?

Making Change

2009-07-12T23:15:00.000-05:00

I was on the road A LOT the past 4 days and I had several occasions to stop along the way to rejuvenate. On one of these stops in a town I can't even remember, I got an ice cream cone at McDonald's. The grand total was $1.06. I gave the young lady at the register $5.11 (I have a thing about carrying around too many coins in my handy-dandy little clutch). My mistake was waiting to find the 11 cents until after she had already punched "$5" into the register.

She was stopped.

What odd combination of coins was I handing her when the total was clearly $1.06? And what was she going to do now that she had already punched in the $5 amount? I helped her out of the predicament by whispering the correct change and dropping the extra nickel into the box they have for Ronald McDonald charities and went on my way.

But I got to thinking, why should she have been able to figure out the change? When are people - of any age, really - encouraged to "make change"?

We've become a society of people committed to "The Man" even though in our break rooms and with our best friends we complain about it. When given the opportunity to actually DO something, how many of us even know what that means? If the cash register doesn't ring up $4.05," what are we supposed to think?

I just finished (again) Seth Godin's book Tribes (which I have conveniently located on my Kindle I - there are costs and benefits to being an early adopter!) and am inspired all over again to become a tribe leader, even if no one is there to follow.

Among my activities over these past 4 days was working with a group of community leaders from small towns around the 5-state area of North Dakota, South Dakota, Montana, Minnesota and Wisconsin who are committed to making a difference for their rural areas. They have stepped up to the plate to become tribe leaders and are finding that that's not always an easy place to be.

Rural communities don't generally embrace change, so the task of many of these leaders isn't necessarily an easy one.

But when groups come together to learn and to practice new thinking skills, they find that they don't have to forge the trail on their own. Learning and sharing from others in similar situations can provide the needed momentum for making change ... and making change stick.

So thanks, rural leaders, and also Seth Godin. I'm inspired to make change in my own community. I'm starting this Wednesday, July 15, by holding space for people to gather with no other agenda than to create community (whatever that means to people who are inspired to come). We will meet at Atomic Coffee in downtown Fargo at 7 p.m. and create something inspiring ... or not. Whoever comes is the right people and whatever happens will be the only thing that could have.

I'm confident that the change will be made exactly as it needs to be.

Just One Question:

2009-07-02T09:37:00.001-05:00

OK, once and for all, I want to know what it is that stops us from being extraordinary. And I guess for me that question is most interesting as it relates to workplaces, since that is where most of us spend the great majority of our minutes, hours, years and, really, our lives.

So I've decided to do some research of my own which could find its way to a blog post, an article, a book, a movie - the sky's the limit. I just know that this is an area of extreme passion for me ... bringing JOY to the workplace. Yes, JOY.

So my research involves this one question:

What is the ONE THING you would like to be different at the place you work?

I would love as much detail as you're willing to provide. If it feels too threatening to answer in a response to this post, please email me at jodee@bocksoffice.com. If you want to be anonymous, you can be - I'm just interested in the information. Of course, if you'd like me to have this conversation about your specific workplace, I'm happy to do that, too!

Please forward this question to anyone you think might be interested in being part of this movement to bring JOY to the workplace, wherever that workplace is.

I'll keep this question open until August 1 ... let's see how many responses we can create in the world by then.

The Grammar Cop is Tired

2009-06-28T16:11:00.005-05:00

OK, I don't remember asking to be the grammar cop. Just like I don't remember asking to be a perfectionist. But I just can't seem to help either thing. (And I guess they are related, so it would make sense.)

What am I supposed to do when I find typos on people's websites, or in their ads for jobs or in other public places ("Our company is celebrating it's 50th anniversary" or "Illegally parked cars will be fine")? Or how about when I hear people say, on a regular basis, how "me and her went to the store" or "I seen you yesterday at the restaurant"?

I just can't help seeing or hearing those things when they pop up (and they seem to be popping up more often). What's a grammar cop to do? It's like having perfect pitch and hearing music out of tune.

In fact, I was pleased that Karen, my friend and fellow typo sighter, found it in her heart to give me thi s art icle about a service trip two guys took to rid the world of misplaced and missing apostrophes and other typographical errors and misspellings. In their 3-month trip, these guys found (and pointed out) more than 400 violations in everything from church signs to event posters.

The thing I'm inspired by with these guys is that they actually took action on something that they could have just complained about (which is what I realize I'm doing with this blog post, ironically). According to Jeff Deck, the guy in the photo (left), their mission is to raise typo awareness—after each stop Deck has blogged about the goofs found and the typos corrected.

"I've always noticed typos," he said, "and one day I just decided to take action. I thought it would be great to go national and see if there were patterns." He said he detects a general erosion of good grammar, from coast to coast, region to region. "If we can inspire enough people to carry Sharpies and help out, then we will be satisfied and happy."

Men after my own heart. Maybe we could start a local chapter of TEAL (Typo Eradication Advancement League), Deck's self-founded organization.

But I fear I may be the only member.

What do you value? Pass it on!

2009-06-19T22:34:00.002-05:00

If you travel by car like I do, you've probably seen this billboard or others like it along the highway. I'm always really attracted to these messages, but can never really see where they are from - the small print is too difficult to read when I'm speeding along the highway!

So tonight I paid attention to a commercial that came on TV from the Foundation for a Better Life and did a little research. Here's from the "About Us" section of the website:

The mission of The Foundation for a Better Life, through various media efforts, is to encourage adherence to a set of quality values through personal accountability and by raising the level of expectations of performance of all individuals. Through these efforts, the Foundation wants to remind individuals they are accountable and empowered with the ability to take responsibility for their lives and to promote a set of values that sees them through their failures and capitalizes on their successes. An individual who takes responsibility for his or her actions will take care of his or her family, job, community, and country.

How totally cool is that? It's so great to see what people can accomplish when they just act on a great idea!

What does this inspire you to do? Pass it on!!

Is YOUR Genius at Work?

2009-06-19T07:36:00.005-05:00

Really - is your genius ... your higher self, your guiding light, your heart of hearts ... at work in your life? Or, once you discover it, can you really put it to work at work?

These were some questions we explored here in Fargo on Tuesday and Wednesday at the third annual Bigger Small Talk Summit and Genius Workshop with the irrepressible Dick Richards and his lovely wife Melanie.

I learned a lot about myself over the past week ... things I probably SHOULD have known but either forgot or just didn't put together. Things like the distinction (if there is one) between religious fervor and evangelism and fervor for higher awareness and business effectiveness, and the distinction (if there is one) between motivating someone and inspiring him/her, and trusting intuition to guide me to my genius.

Dick reminded everyone that the concept of genius is a journey of self-discovery, and not an inventing of new entity. We learned about different cultures and spiritual traditions and their definitions of "genius" and how "genius" differs from "purpose."

The genius workshop provided a chance for people from all careers and those building new careers to examine their current worklives and get some ideas for bringing their natural power and energy to their work, whatever their work may be. Dick calls that natural power and energy genius.

The energy in the room when people are allowed an entire day to explore, uncover, contemplate, share, and be with others with similar intentions is probably something few of us actually get a chance to experience on a regular basis.

Dick's wonderful style and guidance allowed people space to work on their own genius discovery process, but also pushed us to go just a little deeper beyond what our past conditioning would want us to come up with and uncover what is already there waiting to be discovered.

Tuesday was also a wonderful day as people gathered in Open Space to create dialogues with others about topics that matter to them. We supported each other in achieving plans of action that have been tapping at the door of our consciousness for a long time, but which just haven't ever made it to the world. It was a safe space to explore new ideas and call up old ones and declare them to a group and get some accountability to begin acting on those dreams and plans. The last session of the day was a singout, led by the fabulous Barbara McAfee. We learned African tribal songs and sang together and it was magical.

Plans are underway for the Fourth Annual Bigger Small Talk Summit in Fargo in mid-June 2010. If you're searching for something but you're not sure what it is, either in your work life or in any other aspect of your life, you just may find it in Fargo next summer.

See you here!

Insight Without Action Makes No Difference

2009-06-04T23:50:00.000-05:00

OK, so if we already know this stuff, why is it that we don't always create consistent results?

This was a question that came up in my Master Mind group today. We were talking about those moments when everything is clicking and we're on a high and all is well with the world. We talked about noticing how we're feeling in those moments and then tracing back to the thought that immediately preceded the feeling. It is possible, we all know, to recreate that experience (or produce one equally as rewarding) yet we still seem to find ourselves in the space of inconsistency.

So it's true that knowing doesn't necessarily equate to doing, which doesn't always produce desired results.

However, as we talked more about this phenomenon, we realized that perhaps the results we are in the process of producing are really at play at a higher level simply because we are aware of the process. In essence, instead of letting our lives run us, we are aware of the fact that we can have a say in the results.

We reminisced about times in our lives when we were on autopilot, or what I heard Seth Godin say today on Dr. Oz's XM radio show, "sheepwalking." According to Seth, this is when we do things that others tell us because others tell us to without thinking, coupled with being somewhat braindead, especially at work. (Read more about sheepwalking on Seth's blog post here.)

Before we knew any better, we would muddle through our lives, frustrated and, more often than not, carrying a heavy dose of victim mentality, mindlessly giving up all control of our own outcomes to some unknown and unnamed "them" all the time perpetuating the same results. The best we could come up with for a payoff in those cases was that we could at least be right about our belief that "we" were right and "they" were wrong which, at least in my case, I was able to prove by bringing it up to anyone who would listen and agree.

At least now when we notice the results being less than what we want, we know there is another way. It's almost as if there are two of us: the one who is having the experience and the one who is watching the one having the experience. The one who's watching has a much broader view and can much more easily point out alternative ways of thinking and being.

Today's "aha" came in the realization that it's actually being in the feeling space - FEELING the feelings and not pushing them away, no matter how "bad" they may be - that allows the feeling to dissipate. What we resist persists and, although we "know" that in our conscious minds, it's not until it penetrates the old familiar "gotta be right," or what I notice for myself as the "yeah, but" space that it has a chance to turn into a new action. New actions produce new results.

Sometimes I feel like a really slow study ... but it's not because I don't know better. Knowing and doing are definitely not the same thing, and knowing and pointing out to others the doing doesn't produce results for me either.

So I'm still in the space of teaching what I most need to learn. But the good news is that the lessons are much more evident and more quickly absorbed these days.

Where would you like new results in your life? Consider getting in some sort of Master Mind group where you can have a chance to practice new ideas in the safety of a group of likeminded individuals gathering for a definite purpose of support and challenge.

"A year from now you may wish you had started today." -Karen Lamb

(And to prove I'm trying something new, I found that quote using Bing instead of my beloved Google. Don't tell Blogger!)

Who's Got Your Back?

2009-05-15T13:12:00.001-05:00

OK, I was a fan of Keith Ferrazzi's when I read his first book, Never Eat Alone. But in his latest work, Who's Got Your Back, I've met a new soulmate! As the facilitator of several master mind groups studying various works to help us all go deeper, I see the power of the master mind at work every single day. I'm quite clear on the WHY behind relationship building. With Keith's new book, I now have a great set of HOW tools to take my groups to the next level of relationship building success.

Keith's premise is that when you discover the power of relationships and then intentionally build your own dream team, or what he calls "lifeline relationships," you can achieve absolutely anything for yourself and your life.

By demonstrating his four Mind-sets (Generosity, Vulnerability, Candor and Accountability) through his own stories, I learned so much about my own stories. In 2003 I discovered myself to be constitutionally unemployable and became an accidental entrepreneur, struggling at times to have any clue about what I was doing. Seeking focus while still learning and growing, I often found myself running in circles. Keith had similar struggles with his own learning which is why this book has so much meat and meaning for me.

Entrepreneurs and business owners and parents and anyone who wants to achieve anything beyond where they currently find themselves will find value in this book. I think intuitively we know we don't want to be in this life alone; but our conditioning somewhere along the line has taught us that it's not OK to reach out.

Keith gives us permission to be human and helps us resolve our conditioning against candor and honesty with our relationships. He even points out how sparring is a skill that can be developed and is hugely mutually beneficial to dream teams committed to each others' success. Through several case studies and stories, we see firsthand how others have integrated these ideas and the successes they are experiencing in their own personal and professional lives.

I'm going to be using this book at the foundation for a future master mind study here in Fargo and will have more to share when we get to that point, so watch this blog for updates throughout the summer.

Thank you, Keith, for the opportunity to get a sneak peek of this book scheduled to hit bookstores next week. Order this book TODAY!

What's Your Genius?

2009-05-13T18:21:00.003-05:00

How might your work life be different if you were bringing your whole self to work every day?

If that question intrigues you at all, you'll want to be sure to experience the Genius Workshop with Dick Richards on Wednesday, June 17 in Fargo.

What is genius? It has nothing to do with IQ, and everyone has it. Richards describes it this way:

...everyone's genius is unique. Your genius can be thought of in a practical way: as the exceptional power that comes most naturally to you, as the process you undertake so spontaneously and easily that you do not notice it, and as the business in which you are engaged as a person. It can also be thought of in a mystical way: as the energy of your soul and as an answer to the question of why you exist within the human community.

Finding your genius is a way to live in alignment with yourself. It is a way to tap into the power of your unique gifts. It's about paying attention to who and how you are, and then taking action that is in alignment with that.

A key step in discovering your genius is naming it (and you'll get plenty of chances to try on various names as you go through the process). What do you do uniquely well? What do you do automatically, without even thinking about it? What are you doing when you shine?

Some examples of what others have identified include:

* Engaging the Heart
* Digging Deeper
* Pursuing Understanding
* Making it Work

And mine: Inviting Dialogue (which may be tweaked at this year's workshop!).

How FAR will you GO for Bigger Small Talk and discovering your genius? Come to FARGO in June!

Why Be Normal?

2009-05-05T17:20:00.001-05:00

"Why should we be in such desperate haste to succeed, and in such desperate enterprises? If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured and far away." - Henry David Thoreau

Why, indeed? What is this concept of "normal" anyway? Why did we want so desperately to be like everyone else?

In Orbiting the Giant Hairball, Gordon Mackenzie tells us that

To endure, a society needs a vision of what it means to be normal.

normal: 1: of or conforming to the accepted model, pattern or standard. 2: not abnormal.

But creativity and genius have not so much to do with being normal as with being original.

original: 1: having to do with an origin, source or beginning. 2: never having existed before. 3: created or invented independent of already existing ideas or works.

He goes on to tell us that from the time we are born, the pressure is on to BE NORMAL. He says that "those who somehow side-step that pressure and let their genius show are customarily ridiculed, reviled or otherwise discountenanced....It is not the business of authority figures to validate genius, because genius threatens authority. But there is still hope. You are an adult now. As an adult, you can choose to become your own authority figure. As such, you will be in a position to redeem the creative genius in your that was put to sleep."

I lead several Master Mind groups where people are studying various books and ideas to help them discover deeper understanding and awareness which leads to greater results in their lives. The people who are attracted to Master Mind groups apparently have a different level of understanding already to allow them to seek out opportunities to connect with others with that intention, so the results they are seeing in their lives often reflect that. The more they put into their own self-awareness, the more they receive.

During today's Master Mind, the topic of family came up. More than one person admitted that they had always felt out of place in their own families, with parents and siblings who seemed to fit in more than they did. It's probably no accident that this group of people has come together to explore ideas outside the realm of what might be considered "normal" business conversation. This group, along with many of the other groups I facilitate, is finding excitement, enthusiasm, inspiration, and even permission to become even more than they might during their ordinary conversations at work or at home.

Ordinary conversations are fantastic - that is where most of the world exists. If we continue to have ordinary conversations and interactions in our lives, we can't help but achieve ordinary results, which is just fine. But what happens if we add just a little extra to our conversations - a little extra depth, a little extra attention, a little extra listening? We will transform our relationships from ordinary to EXTRAordinary.

Let's go back to Henry David Thoreau for a second. Talk about a non-conformist! His mentor was Ralph Waldo Emerson, for heaven's sake. Emerson is the guy who said

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin or little minds, adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines. With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. He may as well concern himself with his shadow on the wall. Speak what you think now in hard words, and tomorrow speak what tomorrow thinks in hard words again, though it contradict everything you said today. "Ah, so you shall be sure to be misunderstood." Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.

If Emerson was right, it's great to be misunderstood - to be on the edge - to be the black sheep - the genius.

If you had the choice to be normal or to be great, what would you choose? The choice is there and it is yours.

What are you waiting for?

Join us Tuesday, June 16 and Wednesday, June 17 as we examine these and other questions around living an EXTRAordinary life and finding and naming our genius with author Dick Richards.

How FAR would you GO for Bigger Small Talk, more meaning, greater results in all areas of your life? Come to FARGO!

The Do-Be-Do (or dooby doo) Dilemma

2009-04-24T10:50:00.001-05:00

The crooners like Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr. were on to something with their "dooby doo" songs of years gone by. Maybe that was their reminder to keep clear the distinction between DOING and BEING.

Why is it that when we're little kids, no one asks us what we want to DO for a living? They always ask us what we want to BE when we grow up.

Yet when we grow up, we seem to be much more focused on the DOING of our lives than the BEING in them.

Think about what you wanted to be when you grew up. A fireman? A ballerina? A teacher? As a kid you just KNEW what it would be like to actually BE that. You played as if you really were a fireman. You danced around the living room as if you really were a ballerina. You set up classrooms for your dolls and bears and younger siblings and "taught" them everything you knew.

What happened?

In my case, I became more obsessed with the "right" answer than with asking the powerful question. I was scared to death about doing anything "wrong" or "failing" that I was in relentless pursuit of whatever it took to be the one who did things "right." I pursued goals and awards and anything that would give me external validation so I didn't have to THINK. Because when I would just BE, I would THINK and those thoughts were more like questions.

I've always been curious, and the question WHY has always been at the forefront of anything I do. Whether a project at work or directions to a restaurant, I wanted to see the big picture, and see how the pieces fit together. But at work, that question is not always welcomed. I learned to just DO, don't THINK, upon advice from friends and co-workers and anyone else who didn't want to think about the question WHY for him/herself.

I learned that most people are more comfortable (or so they think) in the routine, just doing what they do because they've always done it that way. The more I learn, however, the more I think those people have been DOING things the way I used to DO them ... to avoid the thoughts that come up when we just BE.

I'm learning to welcome those thoughts that come from quiet because I know they are connected to a higher source - or what Napoleon Hill calls "Infinite Intelligence." As we develop our mental muscle of Intuition, we begin to learn that there really are no coincidences ... things really do fit together perfectly (which is the mathematical definition of coincidental angles - those that fit perfectly).

So don't be afraid to just BE once in a while. Think about your mind like a snow globe ... when it's shaken up and frantic and frenzied, it just needs to settle down every once in a while and BE. Then you can enjoy the scene inside the snow globe. Take it from someone who lives in North Dakota - it's not as easy to see the scene when it's snowing!

Some of us are starting to wake up and realize that what we're DOING in our lives doesn't even resemble what we wanted to BE when we grew up. We're not BEING very present in our lives as we run from task to task, from errand to errand and never stop long enough to remember what we knew when we were little.

Maybe it's time to take some time and reflect, take stock, and determine if what you're DOING is leading you to a place where you BE fulfilled.

Here are a couple of things to allow yourself to think about:

1) Determine - for yourself - the distinction between the phrases "HUMAN BEING" and "BEING HUMAN." Discuss with your peeps.

2) Know Yourself. Study the specimen called (insert your name here). What are your strengths? Consider taking the Strengths Finder assessment (I just retook it and found out I'm Maximizer, Strategic, Ideation, Activator, Learner).

3) Get in the Game. Once you've determined WHO you are (sometimes that takes some BEING time), then get on the court. The game is not played from the stands.

Remember that practice makes permanent. What are you practicing? BUSYNESS (doing for the sake of doing) or STILLNESS (being quiet for the sake of being)?

It's about finding the place of harmony between what you BE and what you DO. And it's an experiment.

If not now, when? If not you, who?

Steve Farber is coming to Fargo!

2009-04-23T15:42:00.002-05:00

Well, we made our goal! Steve Farber will officially be presenting information about his new book Greater Than Yourself in Fargo on Wednesday, September 30! Mark your calendars now!

We had a great response from our Fargo-Moorhead master minders who purchased 164 books in less than 2 weeks (that little flood situation you may have heard of probably had something to do with it!), a little short of our goal of 300 books; but thanks to the efforts of John Friend and the North Dakota Society for Human Resource Management, we made the goal and will be thrilled to host Steve in our community!

We will have extra books available for sale here in Fargo if anyone didn't get a chance to order one. I will deliver the books when they get here, so if you ordered one, watch for a special delivery in the next couple of weeks!

We've got some fun activities and projects and ideas floating around to prepare for Steve's presentation in September. Our Saturday master mind is taking this book on as our next study as soon as it gets here, so I'll report on our progress here.

Thanks to everyone who participated in our challenge!

The Farber Countdown ...

2009-04-16T21:49:00.003-05:00

We're into the home stretch and we're over halfway to our goal of 300 books sold by Friday, April 17 in order to bring Steve Farber to Fargo. As of 10 p.m. Thursday, we're at 167.

Let's see what we can achieve down the home stretch! Know any organizations who want to be part of a really cool project about servant leadership or succession planning or mentorship? Consider inviting five of your friends or business associates to join our efforts!

For more information about Steve Farber's Greater Than Yourself project, go to www.greaterthanyourself.com. Click HERE to download a flyer about the presentation Steve will give in Fargo September 30 to kick off the ND SHRM convention if we reach our goal!

Has Life Killed Your Dreams?

2009-04-16T18:06:00.004-05:00

OK, I know odds are that you have seen the Susan Boyle video from Britain's Got Talent (if not, it's linked later here).

The story is amazing and there are so many metaphors we can take from this.

But have you listened to the words of the song? Listen to the video again and follow along with the words. Wow. What does Susan Boyle really know? What an outstanding example of never giving up, despite what the audience (and the people in other areas of her life - your life - our lives) tried to project to her!

Thank you Susan Boyle. More than you know.

"I Dreamed a Dream" From Les Miserables

There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time when it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to shame.

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living,
So different now from what it seemed...
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

HERE'S THE LINK (YouTube shut off embedding, so go there and get it)

Farber Update

2009-04-15T05:55:00.003-05:00

Stardate April 15, 6 a.m. Current reading on the "Bring Steve Farber to Fargo by selling 300 copies of Greater Than Yourself by Friday, April 17" is 129 books.

I know how great this book is ... I'm working on not SELLING the idea, but sharing my belief in the idea.

Is "sharing" more difficult than "selling"?

So if anyone has ideas to get more people engaged in this process in the Fargo-Moorhead community, I'm all ears! If 17 organizations each purchased 10 books, we'd reach our goal. If 9 organizations each purchased 20 books, we'd reach our goal.

It's a great project for our city to take on ... for our schools to take on ... for our churches to take on. Let's get creative!

Three days - 171 books!

Bring Farber to Fargo Update

2009-04-13T13:56:00.003-05:00

As of 2 p.m. Central today, April 13, we have sold 84 books and are well on our way to bringing Steve Farber to Fargo!

He has offered to waive his regular speaking fee if we can help him get his new book, Greater Than Yourself, on the best-seller lists. Our commitment is 300 books by Friday, April 17!

If you know of any groups or organizations who would like to help us in our quest to bring Steve to the Fargo-Moorhead community, please let me know!

Click HERE to join our campaign and purchase a book (or 10)!

Let's Bring Steve Farber to Fargo!

2009-04-10T08:17:00.004-05:00

We're on our way to achieving another HUGE goal here in the Fargo-Moorhead community! First we held back the waters of the mighty Red River after the highest crest in history and we're watching it begin its slow ascent again as the snow begins to melt. The dikes are up and sandbags are in reserve so we're ready!

But our other HUGE goal is to bring author and speaker Steve Farber to our community by purchasing 300 of his newest book Greater Than Yourself by NEXT FRIDAY (April 17)!

Greater Than Yourself is an inspiring parable on the greatest leadership lesson of all - that the best leaders go beyond the tenets of The Golden Rule and help others to be better than they are themselves. You can read more about how Steve is bringing this GTY Project to the world and how you can do that in your own organization at www.greaterthanyourself.com.

We began this quest on Monday and this week we've sold 42 books ... we've got quite a feat ahead of us this next week, but I'm confident we can do it!

We filled and placed 3.5 million sandbags in just 8 days, we can certainly purchase 258 books in 7 days!

CLICK HERE to help us with our goal and come and hear Steve Farber in Fargo! Details about Steve's appearance will follow!

It Really Is a Lavish World!

2009-04-09T06:33:00.001-05:00

Here is a video tribute to my friend Barbara McAfee, whose beautiful music inspires me daily!

Thanks, Barbara!

Don't Just Talk ... Transform!

2009-04-03T08:35:00.003-05:00

Plans are currently underway for the Third Annual Bigger Small Talk Summit and Genius Workshop right here in beautiful Fargo, North Dakota June 16-17, 2009.

If you're drawn to conversation that is meaningful and leads to higher purpose and bigger results, you won't want to miss this event!

Peter Block reminds us that transformation is more about asking profound questions than seeking practical answers, so this year I'm asking for some compelling questions which will spur thought-provoking action and engaging dialogue.

How FAR would you GO for Bigger Small Talk and an opportunity to talk about - and create action around - matters of importance to you and to the world? Please take this opportunity to submit questions you would like to create dialogue around with other like-minded individuals dedicated to higher awareness and artful action. Please submit your questions here. They will go on the Bigger Small Talk website which will compel you to join us in June!

Here's an idea of what the Bigger Small Talk Summit is all about. This is scheduled for June 16. The Genius Workshop with Dick Richards is June 17 and I'll post more about that in a future post.

Bigger Small Talk June 2009

View more presentations from JodeeB.

My dream is that this event becomes a Little TED on the Prairie. Let's start the dream TODAY!

United We Sand!

2009-04-02T08:40:00.005-05:00

In case you haven't heard the national news over the past two weeks, I'll let you know that my Fargo-Moorhead community has been in the spotlight as we've been battling our Red River which decided to reach the highest level it ever has in history.

In 1997 we were close to the highest level ever, and that's the year that Grand Forks, about 75 miles upstream (the Red River flows north) was devastated and forced to rebuild.

We had 3 weeks' notice to shore up our dikes and get things in place in 1997; we had 8 days this time, but we did it. With amazing help from friends from all over the country who came to help, we filled 3 million sandbags and built dikes and filled HESCO dikes and evacuated people and made meals and in essence, saved the community.

There were some folks who had water in their homes and some that may or may not be able to go back to their homes. But considering that this was the worst flooding we've ever seen in our community, we did pretty well.

There are so many stories to share - one search of YouTube or Google will turn up thousands of entries from all over. But the main story is the power of a community dedicated to helping each other - and to the beauty of strangers coming from all over to help people they don't even know.

I heard a quote sometime during this 2-week whirlwind: "We're our best during the worst circumstances and at our worst during the best circumstances." Although crisis situations do tend to bring out the best in humanity, I'm just not convinced that it has to be that way. We have a great opportunity to prove that we can be our best during the best circumstances as well - and we can learn from so many things that happened during this flood.

I'm really looking forward to seeing how people will choose to bring their best assets and their strengths now as our community faces the cleanup after the amazing folks who helped us in the worst circumstances have returned to their own communities.

My friend Brenda Levos is a very creative graphic designer who has found a way to use her strengths to help the community in recovery mode. She has designed a line of T-shirts, caps, stickers, etc. to commemorate the flood, with proceeds going to Impact GiveBack, a local foundation which will help with the recovery. She shows us a great example of using creativity to give back!

Here is the latest in Lee Hoedl's montage (he's actually done 10 of these chronicling the history). Today is sunny and snow is beginning to melt: this video was produced on Tuesday (2 days ago). Amazing the difference a day can make in this situation! Check out more of Lee's videos on YouTube.

The Rarity of Speaking Without Interruption

2009-03-22T10:25:00.004-05:00

Whenever I work with a client or speak to a group and ask what their number one challenge is, they almost all say communication (no surprise there, huh?). When have we ever been taught the "hows" of communication?

I even had one client who wanted me to teach his staff the "when" of communication, implying that there is an exact time to deliver the exact "what" in order to get the exact result he wanted, which, when pressed, he couldn't even define.

I think the key to effective communication is listening, a skill which very few people ever learn. Listening is not the same as hearing - I don't think I have to explain that better here except to say that most of the time in my corporate experience, I would have loved to have someone actually listen to me - to my ideas, my frustrations, my dreams.

It seems corporate leaders are more programmed to speak instead of listen (that could be a whole other blog post, and probably will be in the not so distant future).

So although it's not quite the same as listening in person, I'm pleased to be part of a writing project called Speak Without Interruption. Here, from the website, is the mission of the site:

Speak Without Interruption was created to give everyone a place to voice his or her thoughts on various subjects. This concept originated while watching the political tv shows and seeing the frustration of the guests when nobody could get a word in. The segments were short so the guests were often left hanging and unable to complete their arguments. We thought this was not only frustrating for the viewer but was probably frustrating for the guests as well.
Because writers, in our opinion, are the most important part of any postings we have expanded our original site basis to include all writers - in all topics - who would like to voice an opinion, further advance a thought or topic, or provide material for viewer reading or comments. We welcome all participants - writers, viewers, pundits, media hosts, and anyone else who would like to “Speak Without Interruption.”

Check out the site to get some great ideas about topics people are very passionate about (and check out my first article there as well!).

Bison in the Big Dance!

2009-03-20T07:05:00.005-05:00

Our beloved North Dakota State University Bison men's basketball team is playing in the NCAA Division I big dance today and I'm having flashbacks.

The Bison are in their very first year of eligibility for the Division I tournament and they won the Summit League championship to qualify. So they drew the defending national champion Kansas in the first round - who cares? These guys are on such a roll - and our entire state is so excited - that they'll probably roll all over the Jayhawks on sheer adrenalin alone!

I'm remembering my days as a basketball player. When my high school team made it to the state tournament my senior year, I think the entire town shut down. The boys' team from Gwinner, a little town 15 miles from my hometown of Lisbon, North Dakota, made it to the state tournament this year and they won yesterday. I'm sure there's no one left to run the post office there (although the game will be on TV in case someone needed to keep the lights on while everyone else is at the game).

My freshman year at Concordia College in Moorhead, Minnesota my basketball team won the Division III national championship, so I have a little bit of an idea of what the Bison are going through today (on a much smaller scale, to be sure). It's such an amazing rush to know that so many people are supporting you - win or lose.

I understand why they call it March Madness. We are crazy here in Fargo today! Even the University of North Dakota fans are Bison fans today! We appreciate the support!!

Are You Like Jack - In the Box?

2009-03-13T08:52:00.001-05:00

I'm just re-reading a really important book right now called Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting out of the Box by the Arbinger Institute and the first question that comes to my mind upon picking this up again is, who is reading this book?

In my experience as a leadership and communication consultant who is committed to personal and workplace transformation, I can think of lots of people who "should" read this book, including one of my first clients who hired me when I first started this gig to "fix" a few of his people.

As I worked with those people to develop personal coaching plans with them, it occurred to me that no one had ever really listened to them at work. As I spent time with them individually, the common denominator in their dissatisfaction was their leader, which we all know if we're even a little self-aware, indicates that that leader has a lot to teach each of those people about themselves.

So during my conversation with each of them, we developed an individual plan for them knowing full well that they couldn't change the leader, only themselves. I went back to the leader and asked him the same questions I had asked his employees about what he would like to do for his own development. His answer? Fix his people! According to what I'm reading in this book, he was really "in the box."

According to this book, "in the box" means having a problem I don't think I have - a problem I can't see. When I can see matters only from my own closed perspective, and feeling deeply resistant to any suggestion that the truth is otherwise, I end up in a box - cut off, closed up, blind.

Another way to say that is that I am deceiving myself - I am unable to see that I have a problem.

According to the story in this book, the fictional company Zagrum's top strategic initiative is to minimize individual and organizational self-deception.

Sounds like a great idea ... but, going back to the first question I asked here, who's reading this book? Probably not those who have the problem.

How is it that people wake up to the knowledge that whenever they have a problem in their lives, they are there for it? Any personal or organizational problems are the result of self-deception, which leads to justification, and eventually collusion, which keeps the cycle going.

So the first step is to recognize the distinction between what we DO in our lives, which varies tremendously from day to day and from person to person, and who we BE in our lives, which comes down to two ways only.

The first way of BEING is to see people as they are - as people. Seeing them as people, according to this book, I am responsive to their reality. As responsible adults, it would seem that this is the choice we make when we are able to respond to people's concern, hopes, needs, fears.

The other way of BEING is to see people as objects. If I see people as objects, I am resistant to their reality. Seeing people as less than they are, I am deceived about their reality.

The biggest challenge I see in getting this information into the world more quickly, is that traditionally in our workplaces, being "responsive" has meant being "soft," and being "resistant" has meant being "hard."

We even call these "soft skills" and "hard results." But if we really take a look at the RESULTS of each of these ways of being, it becomes evident rather quickly which way works best.

Seeing me as a person, someone compliments me. (SOFT) Seeing me as an object, someone compliments me. (HARD) Do the compliments feel the same to me? Or consider how different it feels to be corrected by someone who sees me as a person compared to someone who sees me as an object.

Whatever I DO on the surface, people respond to who I am BEING when I am doing it.

What is the BEING underneath the DOING in your own life? We are the ones we can change ... and, remarkably enough, we are probably the ones we have been waiting for!

Bock's Office Testimonial Video

2009-03-07T11:52:00.002-06:00

Here is the new testimonial video project I'm working on to promote my business, Bock's Office Transformational Consulting. Thanks so much to my fabulous clients and master minders for participating in this video!

I'd love to hear your feedback!

Nurturing the Choir

2009-03-02T07:03:00.005-06:00

I just spent almost four fabulous days with my new friend Barbara McAfee and I tell you what, that woman is amazing!

Barbara did six presentations over three days here in the Fargo-Moorhead-Detroit Lakes area, even braving a blizzard on Thursday to get to the 61 eager audience members in DL. She shared her message of finding the "verb" you can live in all aspects of your life, including work, and also showed how important music is to people all over the world. It really is a universal language.

One thing (among many) I learned from Barbara this week, and which was reflected in a comment to my previous post here, is that maybe it's time to give the choir some nourishment and love instead of looking past them to everyone else.

What I think Barbara meant by that, and what I mean by that, is that so often I dream so big and so broad and so wide that I forget to notice what's already happening and who's already here. I'm in such pursuit of the next thing that I forget to stop and be in gratitude for what's happening in front of my eyes.

I looked up the origin of the term "preaching to the choir" and I really got a huge "aha." Here's a definition from The Phrase Finder:

'Preaching to the choir' is of US origin. It clearly refers to the pointlessness of a preacher attempting to convert those who, by their presence in church, have already demonstrated their faith.

Even though I knew what it meant, to see it in such black and white terms was kind of startling. Given my fundamental Christian upbringing and the resistance I now have to all things fundamental, it's funny that Barbara would bring up a term which has such obvious roots in fundamentalism.

At any rate, I got to thinking about how in pursuit of sharing Barbara's message with the whole world (or my Fargo-Moorhead-Detroit Lakes communities, anyway) I may have overlooked the dedicated people who are already changing the world by changing their thoughts about what is really true for them. Those are the people who I want to nurture and support and just have meaningful conversation with.

Warren's comment in my last post really reminded me that it's maybe time to just relax with the folks who are already of like mind instead of always trying to find those who aren't and don't want to be and "converting" them. That's exhausting.

Although my vision of full houses for each of Barbara's events didn't come true the way I had hoped, I was reminded in each of her six engagements of one of the principles of Open Space Technology: "whoever comes is the right people." That was proven over and over as we had amazing experiences with each audience.

So I'm taking this moment to thank the "choir" - and to sing their praises. Thank you for stepping out this past week and experiencing Barbara McAfee's music and presence. And thank you, Barbara, for reminding me of so many things I think I already knew but had forgotten.

I think it's time for a good old fashioned hootenanny!

Thirsty? Here's the Firehose.

2009-02-19T15:31:00.000-06:00

OK, I know I'm passionate about learning and growing and teaching and sharing. But I'm learning that not everyone shares the same passions I do - and sometimes that's a difficult lesson to really get.

I used to work with a very wise guy (no, not a wiseguy, but a wise SPACE guy!) who once told me "if we both think the same way one of us is not needed." He really got that it was important for people to share various perspectives in order to help each other expand their collective point of view.

I KNOW that's true, but sometimes I still forget. I sometimes believe that everyone should see the world of higher awareness and new information and growth and advancement the way I see it and that's just not the way it is. Just because I am excited and passionate about something doesn't mean everyone needs to agree.

If we both think the same way one of us is not needed.

Others are needed in my life to help me see other points of view. But I'm needed in other people's lives to stand for my own way of seeing the world so that I can provide information and inspiration in my own way, too.

I think for me the challenge is to balance my dynamic energy (the "push" energy) and the magnetic energy (the "pull" energy). Or another way to say it is the DO (dynamic) and the BE (magnetic). I know there are times and places for both. As a speaker and a coach, I can definitely see times and places for both.

I'm thinking of Wayne Dyer's reminder: "How may I serve?" which asks what the other needs rather than forces on them what I think they need.

How may I serve today?

What Other People Think of Me ...

2009-02-09T11:01:00.003-06:00

... really is none of my business. But as soon as our awareness shouts that out, we probably will be given tests to see if we really walk our own talk.

I've been given information from a well-meaning person about a group I'm leading. Some of the members of this group are having trouble buying into the new awareness we're learning, probably because of some subconscious conditioning we all need to work through. That's the beauty of group dynamics. Whatever happens in the group is information for each member of the group (including the facilitator!)

I've been told that people from this group are talking about the things they don't like outside of the group and my first reaction (yes, it was a REACTION, not a RESPONSE) was to throw in the towel. "Fine. If they don't want to learn or grow or move forward, we'll just stop." But the beauty of awareness is that REACTIONS don't stop me like they used to. When I can identify them as such, I have a chance to take a breath and RESPOND.

I'm reminded that what other people think of me is none of my business and also that "People do not seem to realize that their opinion of the world is also a confession of character." We are telling people every day how we want to be understood by the way we understand others. So wherever people are in their understandings (including me) is exactly where we need to be.

I don't need to react or even to respond to this situation. I just need to celebrate and be grateful that I'm learning something every day. Any story I can create in my mind about what is or isn't actually happening is not true. Everything we learn and notice is just information and there is no judgment in information. It just is.

So don't be dismayed when things start showing up to test your resolve. Sometimes the "brick walls" simply show up to let us see how much we believe what we say or how much we want what we say we want. There is always a way to get beyond an obstacle, but it may not be immediately apparent.

What do you really want? To be right or to be happy? I'll choose the happy route every day I'm aware that it's an option!

Being Stuck

2009-02-05T12:43:00.003-06:00

I'm currently leading a master mind group in Detroit Lakes, Minnesota where we're studying Peter Block's newest book: Community: The Structure of Belonging and it's gotten me thinking - no surprise there!

I'm currently contemplating the chapter Peter titles "The Stuck Community" and I'm uncomfortable because I recognize myself in what I'm reading. I'm wondering why I'm uncomfortable ... because of being stuck or because of the realization of the possibility of being stuck?

The first line of Chapter 3 in Peter's book just jumped off the page at me today while I was reading: "To create a new story, we first need to come to terms with the current one. This begins by naming it."

What I read today was that to move beyond stuck, we first have to realize we are stuck. Denial doesn't work when we're stuck. And the underlying assumption in that statement is that at some point in all of our lives every one of us gets stuck.

I think about what I've been studying and learning since I saw The Secret in 2006. Shouldn't we just be able to THINK our way out of our stuckness? After all, don't we know better?

Sometimes knowing doesn't seem to be enough. That's why I'm so excited to get my hands on the followup to The Secret called "Beyond the Secret." According to my fellow LifeSuccess consultants who are featured in this movie, this will teach us things that The Secret didn't get to. We'll be able to take that great information and go even deeper.

Being stuck isn't a big deal - staying stuck can be. So let's call it like it is when we're stuck. According to Peter Block, that's when we can move beyond it.

The Knowing / Doing Gap

2009-02-03T06:07:00.002-06:00

OK, so we've already established that we already know this stuff. There's no new information, just new ways of packaging what's already out there.

So why don't we do what we know?

If greater awareness = better choices, then shouldn't learning more make us more accountable and thus more happy?

We seem to stay in our state of cynicism and resignation so we can cling desperately to our need to be right, even at the expense of our own happiness and vitality. So many people - especially those who feel the need to call in to talk radio shows or write scathing letters to the editor - just don't realize that their opinion of the world is also telling the world who they really are.

It appears as though the cost of being cynical and resigned and upset and unhappy is not yet outweighing the perceived payoff for those who choose to continue the actions that keep proving them right - and unhappy.

But even as I write that I wonder whose view it is that calls that "unhappy." Perhaps it is me judging what I see and calling it "bad" or "wrong" ... if even in my own head.

As I start noticing those things/people/situations that I judge and change my own mind about judging them, then the world appears different to me and I don't have to be caught up in my own need to be right about what others are or are not doing.

So it's really true ... the only gap that occurs in the world between what ANYONE knows and does is the gap that occurs in MY world.

If ANYTHING really is to be, it truly IS up to me.

Somehow I think I already knew that.

What does YOUR world look like?

2009-01-22T09:45:00.000-06:00

I am so encouraged and inspired and excited to be living right now in the United States. There is a sense of possibility and opportunity that is almost palpable. And I love the Internet! We have, at our disposal, an unlimited supply of information, opinion, ideas, and inspiration for absolutely any topic we can imagine.

The interesting thing I'm noticing today as I peruse a few websites is that it is simple to reinforce an already-existing worldview by just scanning a few current events articles.

Since we are predisposed and conditioned to see what we're looking for, we can look at this time of presidential transition as either a very positive thing or a very negative thing and will see exactly what we're looking for.

There are many stories on the internet today about our new president, most with their own twist. Here is just a sampling of some of the headlines from a blog called The New Republic:

"Only Makes You Stronger: Why the Recession Will Revive America"
"Enjoy the Bipartisan Lovefest While You Can - It Ain't Going to Last Very Long"
"Signs Point to Frustration: Why Obama Will Confuse Partisans On Both Sides"
"The Battle of the Ivies! How Harvard Beat Yale In the Democratic Party"
"Was Obama's Speech An Incoherent Mess, A Wonkish Downer, or a Subtle Epic?"

You'll probably click on the article with the headline that supports your already-preconceived worldview, if you're like most people.

Even yesterday in one of the meetings I conducted I heard someone say that he thought Obama's inaugural address was the worst thing he had ever heard. It was depressing and didn't give him any hope at all (he's a very vocal Republican, from conversations I've heard before). How could he have heard it any differently? (And maybe I was affected by his attitude because I'm a supporter of our new president.)

Another topic I've heard so much about in many of my master mind community gatherings is the state of public education, since many of the participants are parents of children in those public schools. I would have to say that, in my very unscientific evaluation, approximately 90% of the comments that come up about public education have something to do with what's wrong in that setting. In fact, that percentage may even be a bit generous.

I'm encouraged, however, by something a friend sent me this morning. Her son is a 7th grader and every year the 7th graders participate in a Courage Retreat. Here's more information about that:

For students to succeed academically and socially, a caring and respectful school climate is essential. It has become a tradition at Horizon Middle School for all 7th graders to participate in a Courage Retreat as a part of the seventh grade curriculum. A team of three motivational leaders from Youth Frontiers Inc. along with a staff of about 30 high school mentors will facilitate the one-day retreat.

The goals of the Courage Retreat are that students:
Understand how fear permits them to compromise their goals and values.
Identify common fears of students their age.
Identify moments of decision between courage and fear.
Commit to one act of courage in their life.

I know there are countless other examples of ways public schools - and school teachers and administrators - are making amazing differences in kids' lives. Why is it that the conversations in most of our social and workplaces settings tend to focus first on the negative?

We are currently planning the Third Annual Bigger Small Talk Summit for June 16-17 in Fargo. Here people will get a chance to participate in dialogue that leads to meaningful and difference-making action in the world. In addition, they will get a chance to discover and name their own Genius under the expert direction and guidance of Dick Richards, author of Is Your Genius At Work? and the powerful blog Riding on Dragons.

People in our community who participated in the Genius Workshop last summer are still buzzing about the insights they gained from that day.

How FAR will you GO for Bigger Small Talk and more meaning in your business and personal life? Come to FARGO June 16-17 for an experience you'll long remember!!

Watch for more information SOON! (The website will also be updated shortly.)

Take part in activities that support the worldview you aspire to. You present results are no indication of your future success, so if you notice that clinging to your present perspective causes you to feel defensive (or offensive), tense, upset or in any way less than joyful, consider opening your heart and mind to another perspective.

You really do see what you're looking for.

What does YOUR world look like?

Does Positive Energy = Positive Results?

2009-01-20T09:15:00.003-06:00

It's difficult for me not to be really excited today as we swear in a new president. I know that not everyone is happy about this - not everyone voted for him - but it's difficult not to feel the energy surrounding the events that are underway even as I type this.

I was in Hawaii during the election, and the energy was palpable even in the last state to vote (when the polls closed in Hawaii, the vote was pretty much already decided, which could have had something to do with the 95% vote for Obama - or maybe it was because he was born in Hawaii).

At any rate, it's amazing to watch CNN right now and see so many people so excited for the new world we seem to be on the brink of experiencing.

One of my master mind groups is currently studying Peter Block's newest book "Community" which tells us that in order to create a new future, we need to resolve our past (not forget it, just complete it, to use the language from the book) and declare a new future to live into.

It's really no different when talking about individual communities, businesses or a nation - the process is similar. Energetic and hopeful conversations create new energy which attracts people into new results. Or as Block points out in "Community," creates conversations which touch, move and inspire to join in the new possibilities.

Back in March of 2003 I participated in a life-transforming educational opportunity called The Landmark Forum, and I ended up completing the entire curriculum (the Advanced Course and the Self Expression and Leadership Program) which used as its foundation work by Werner Erhard, which Block is referencing in his newest book.

I have lived a different life since learning those distinctions in 2003, and was reminded of the power of that information to transform lives when my good friend Chris Young called this morning to tell me about his profound experience at the Forum this past weekend.

I'm so excited and encouraged for Chris in his life, but also for us as Americans and really for the world as we create a future distinct from our past, not by ignoring the past, but by completing it - realizing that everything that happens to us individually or collectively is important to getting us where we find ourselves right now.

I'm excited that our new president has the Audacity of Hope and a powerful voice that can call us to action around this new energy. This will be as true for us individually as it will be collectively - and I know it starts with me.

What future are you creating for yourself by your own declarations, in your families, businesses, activities, communities and the world?

I KNOW positive energy creates POSITIVE results because I experience it every day. What are your results showing you? It's simple to change those results by declaring your future. And that power is in YOUR hands today. The results we can create and allow in our world are powerfully exciting!

Tips For A Better Life

2009-01-15T07:24:00.002-06:00

OK, I admit it - I've become rather obsessed with Facebook.

Well, maybe that's a bit strong. But I do check my friends' status at least every day - just to kind of keep up with people. I know there are a lot of wacky things there - like sending people virtual drinks and hitting them with virtual snowballs. I don't pay much attention to those things. I want to get to know people and find out what they like. Ultimately I'd like to grow my business, and I need to know what people are interested in and what they're seeking out so I can better position my business to help them achieve what they want.

Today one of my friends posted this slideshow with tips for a better life. It's another of those things you really probably already know. But as we've discovered over and over at this blog, it's not really what you already know - it's what you DO with what you know that matters.

So here is a list from this great Facebook site by Nithya Shanti, via Krystal Pine. The list is a little different than the slideshow, but they're both fabulous. Enjoy!

Tips for Better Life

1. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day. And while you walk, smile.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Sleep for 7 hours.
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Play more games.
6. Read more books than you did the previous year.
7. Make time to practice meditation, yoga, and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink plenty of water.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
14. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
15. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
16. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
17. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
18. Smile and laugh more.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. Don't compare your partner with others.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Forgive everyone for everything.
26. What other people think of you is none of your business.
27. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
28. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
29. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
30. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
31. The best is yet to come.
32. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
33. Do the right thing!
34. Call your family often.
35. Your inner most is always happy. So be happy.
36. Each day give something good to others.
37. Don't over do. Keep your limits.
38. Share this with someone you care about.

Another for the "You Already Know This Stuff" files ...

2009-01-03T18:12:00.000-06:00

It's January. It's Fargo, North Dakota. It's snowy.

Yep. That's part of the beauty of living here - we get snow in the winter. The picture here is looking up the steps of my deck from the patio. A daunting task.

It's just that we've never - in the history of our state - ever gotten this much snow in one month.

According The Forum, our official newspaper yesterday:

"The numbers are in: This wasn’t just the snowiest December on record in Fargo-Moorhead. It was the snowiest month – period.

"The previous record of 31.5 inches set in January 1989 was shattered Tuesday as 8.8 inches of snowfall brought this month’s total to 33.5 inches as of 6 p.m., according to the National Weather Service in Grand Forks, N.D. That also beat the previous record for December of 29.2 inches set in 1927."

Here's a song from one of our local (county) radio stations. I'm not a country fan, but this song gives you one aspect of what a traveling band might have to think about if coming to Fargo for a gig.

(Oh, guess I can't post the clip, but here's a link.)

I'm inspired now to go take more photos tomorrow, so watch for an update from snowy Fargo (it's snowing again tonight!).

Happy 2009!

The Ticket for a Happy Holiday!

2008-12-22T09:13:00.005-06:00

I found this ticket generator at says-it.com and figured it was a great way for me at Bock's Office to thank you for your blogging inspiration in 2008!

I am committed to sharing more on this blog in 2009 - and will be looking forward to seeing many of you sometime, somewhere in person this next year (SOB Con ... Bigger Small Talk Summit ... who knows where!).

Have a happy holiday wherever and however you celebrate. I'm looking forward to all things MORE than FINE in 2009 (what, besides fine, rhymes with nine?)!

Why I love barbershop singing

2008-12-19T09:12:00.002-06:00

This has got to bring a smile to the face of even the most hardened Scrooge this time of year.

Enjoy this Christmas classic from my friends the Benson family (my former director (Pete) and the former tenor of my quartet WindStar (Rachelle)). In this version Pete sings bass, Rachelle is on bari, David (7) is the tenor, Aaron (5) is lead and Luke (3) sends the family greetings.

Just one of the reasons I love barbershop: the ENTIRE family can participate! :)

What's a more inspiring word for "accountability"?

2008-12-17T07:34:00.003-06:00

I'm thinking today about the distinction between setting goals and actually achieving them. I guess it's the close of one year and the dawn of a new one that puts me in this reflective mood. Or maybe it's that I was also born at the dawn of the new year and I've always been a little drawn to the Roman god Janus, who looks both forward and backward - from the old year into the new year.

So here's the reflection: 2008 was a great year and I learned a lot (I hope - the true test will be to make sure that I don't repeat any mistakes I made in 2008 in 2009!). And perhaps the biggest lesson I learned was that I can't reflect anything that I'm not projecting. (One of those things that makes you go hmmm, I know.) I know I need to ASK and not just expect that people know what I need and when I take that action, entire universes open up.

And here's the intention: you will see more of me here in 2009 and I will also start a new blog focused on my work. I will also have a new book published in 2009 with the working title "What is Your WHY?" or something like that (I haven't researched that title for availability yet - that's on my accountability list).

Speaking of which, is there a better word than accountability for, well, accountability? To me that's not very inspiring and I'm searching for inspiration. I know I want to create community around this whole issue of accountability, but I don't want it to feel heavy. So, if I know what I don't want, then what do I want? I want light, airy, compelling inspiration. I want to go from doing to being and I want to attract others into that space so that we (whoever that is) can co-create our own systems and rituals that compel us to action.

I'm confident that the HOW will appear ... my project for these next two weeks is to develop the compelling WHY. So stay tuned.

I'll do my best to be accountable ... until we come up with a better term. Suggestions are welcome (as are co-creators and collaborators!).

Happy and Merry!

Grateful in 2008!

2008-12-15T22:13:00.004-06:00

I've been experimenting with Windows Movie Maker and have come up with this representation of my gratitude for a wonderful 2008. If you've been a reader of this blog over the years, this video is for you!

Nobody says or sings it better than Art Garfunkel.

Thank you for everything - and on to even more adventures in 2009!

I Need More Money - Is That True?

2008-12-01T07:57:00.002-06:00

This 8 minute video clip from Byron Katie might offer a different perspective for many of us who are beginning to stress out at this time of year.

Happy Holidays - and take a moment to remember what's really important in your life! Spend time with those you love and consider giving memories and experiences this holiday season instead of giving "stuff."

Want to become a better person? Check out these blogs!

2008-11-18T08:56:00.003-06:00

I'm honored that this blog has been included in the Massage Therapy Careers' list of 100 Blogs That Will Inspire You to be a Better Person.

Author Christina Laun says that "everyone needs a little help sometimes in getting motivated, feeling happy or just getting those creative juices flowing. Luckily, the Internet is full of places to find inspiration. These blogs can help you get moving towards your goals, whether you want to give back more to the community, feel better about yourself, or just get in shape.

Must Reads

These blogs are must-reads for anyone looking to get inspired. You’ll find everything from personal development tips to ways to be happier."

You'll find "You Already Know This Stuff" under the heading Personal Development.

Check out some of these blogs - they're outstanding!

Thanks, Christina!

Meeting the Aloha Lady!

2008-11-11T01:31:00.003-06:00

I had the distinct pleasure to spend the morning with Rosa Say, author of Managing With Aloha: Bringing Hawaii's Universal Values to the Art of Business and co-founder of the blog Joyful Jubilant Learning, Say Leadership Coaching and too many other resources to mention.

I had a wonderful time with Rosa, who is just as delightful in person as I imagined her to be as a fan of her writing.

Rosa shared her Aloha with me and demonstrated Ho'okipa (hospitality) by meeting me at a Starbucks 45 minutes from her home and then driving me back to my resort after our meeting (which could have gone on forever if we didn't have other obligations).

Mahalo, Rosa, for your time and your wisdom!

The Audacity of Hope Alive and Well!

2008-11-07T12:07:00.008-06:00

I just had to share this photo essay from the night before the election at a rally in Virginia. The photographer is Nida Vidutis. Click here for her Flikr link!

Enjoy!

What's Your Life's Metaphor?

2008-11-05T11:00:00.003-06:00

I'm working on a feature story for a local magazine called OPEN and the subject is a wonderful woman who is multi-faceted and very beautiful. Of course, the first metaphor that brings to my mind is s diamond. But to me that is too cliche, so I got thinking about other metaphors that our lives represent, and that has led me to this blog post.

I'm in Hawaii today - and for the next 10 days - where I'm treated every morning to a westward looking view so I can see the sun coming up on the mountain outside my window, reflecting on the windows of the buildings in downtown Honolulu (not exactly an ocean view, but beautiful in its own right).

So I've been thinking this morning about metaphors for life. I came across a post from the Gaia Community called "What are your metaphors for life?" The author was talking about the study guide for What the Bleep and mentions ecophilosopher Joanna Macy's five central metaphors through which people in different spiritual traditions see the world:

world as battlefield,

world as classroom,

world as trap,

world as lover, and

world as self…

The authors added world as machine to the list…

There are many other metaphors for life…

A Journey

A Garden

A Battery

A Mission

A Prison

A Roller Coaster

A Mountain Climb

A Race

A Courtroom

What are your metaphors for life?

How much do you operate within each of these worldviews?

The metaphor I keep coming back to as I struggle to do justice to this wonderful woman's life story (in only 1500 words!) is a river. Rivers are always moving forward, even when we don't think they are; they're never a constant speed - there are rapids, floods, pools, eddies, reactions to outside forces; as humans we have cut new channels, meandered from the expected paths, migrated, evolved, carrying much to deposit elsewhere. Sometimes when the going of our lives gets tough, we need simply to turn around - not push the river but go with the flow.

What metaphors come to mind when you think about your life? Or life in general? How does that worldview shape what happens in your life - what happens to you?

Fargo? You Betcha!

2008-10-29T09:33:00.002-05:00

OK, it's been more than 10 years since my fair city had the "pleasure" of becoming a household name thanks to the Cohn brothers' movie "Fargo." But I seriously laughed out loud at this "interview" from Jim Emerson.

So here, with my tongue planted firmly in my cheek, is today's chuckle. Thanks, for doing double duty, Marge!

Enjoy:

Greg Reid in Fargo to share Three Feet From Gold!

2008-10-17T23:29:00.003-05:00

We're proud to announce that Greg Reid, author of the forthcoming book and documentary Three Feet From Gold, will be in Fargo October 30 to share his message with us!

Greg was selected by the Napoleon Hill Foundation to write this book, the only project like this that foundation has endorsed. Greg targeted us to share his message because we've got a wonderful group of Think and Grow Rich fans who understand the importance of this classic book - and the updated version that Greg has produced.

Here is the trailer for this movie. Consider joining us at the Skills and Technology Training Center in Fargo on October 30 at 6:30 to meet Greg and hear his inspiring message in person!

.

Getting After It

2008-10-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

OK, so what's stopping you from ACTING? OK, not acting as in stepping on a stage and being in a play, but taking action in your own life? (Of course, if your dream is to star in a production, get after that!)

(I usually feel the need, when I read something or say something to someone else that applies more to me than to anyone else, to add my name to the end of the question or statement ... so the above question would say, "What's stopping you from acting, Jodee?")

I have not written here because I've been busy taking my own advice and really moving on a couple of projects that have been taking up undue room in my ever expanding lap as I avoid acting on them.

I'm really experiencing the power of the things I've been teaching for the past year as seeds that were planted earlier are now starting to pop up.

I'm working with Joyce Schwarz to promote her book "The Vision Board Book," scheduled to be released October 28 (I'm mentioned in Chapter 7!) and will be hosting Greg Reid here in Fargo as he promotes his book and film "Three Feet From Gold" on October 30.

The master mind community here in Fargo continues to grow, and last night the fabulous master minders from Detroit Lakes, MN hosted a screening of the 2004 film "Iron Jawed Angels" to an enthusiastic crowd of 112. If you haven't seen that film, it's being shown on HBO throughout October and November. There is absolutely no way every single woman in America should not vote this year when we're reminded of what our foremothers went through. This group decided to take on this project just 3 weeks ago, and got the promotion, media and publicity together with fabulous results.

I write about these things to let you know that change happens when we take action - and transformation happens when we give up the way it used to be in favor of what it's going to be - and are committed to that new way of being over time. I'm fortunate - I get to study classics like Think and Grow Rich and facilitate master mind groups every single day. In fact, in addition to Think and Grow Rich (which is our prerequisite), our master minders here in Fargo are reading (or have read over the past year) the following books (and supported each other in applying their learning):

Law of Attraction by Michael Losier
Working With The Law by Raymond Holliwell
Zero Limits by Joe Vitale
A Whole New Mind by Daniel Pink
You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle
Happy For No Reason by Marci Shimoff
When Good People Do Bad Things by Debbie Ford
ONE: The Art and Practice of Conscious Leadership by Lance Secretan
The Answer by John Assaraf and Murray Smith
The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss

What are you doing to get different results in your life? I'm finally moving into action and putting into practice all the things I've been studying over the past year, and really what I've been studying my entire life.

A small step in a new direction, followed over time, will yield vastly new results, but the key is taking the step - getting out of your comfort zone - and sticking to it.

Get yourself a master mind community, or let's start a virtual master mind. Let's study Ross Cornwell's version of Think and Grow Rich over a 10-week period and see how much our minds shift. Let's get 7-10 of us from all over the world to commit to this process and experience that shift for ourselves.

There's the challenge ... who's in??

Do You Have A Vision?

2008-09-17T10:41:00.007-05:00

OK, this Law of Attraction stuff is really fun!

If you're a reader of this blog, you may remember a few months ago when I featured my own version of a portable vision board.

Well, that idea found the attention of Joyce Schwarz, author of a new book called "THE VISION BOARD: The Secret to An Extraordinary Life" which has recently hit #8 in the spirituality category on Amazon.com's list for advance orders.

The book isn't even scheduled to come out until October 28, but advance orders and building buzz says it may sell out quickly!

Joyce asked if she could feature my portable vision deck in the book, so I'm going to be mentioned in Chapter 7!

The book includes work by more than 100 artists and contributors from 32 states and 9 countries including Australia, New Zealand, Phillipines, Indonesia, United Kingdom, Scotland, Dubai and more!

Bob Proctor wrote the foreword & Jack Canfield wrote the afterword.

You can get more information about this book at ihaveavision.org.

As one of my good friends on this ride keeps telling me:

"This (****) works!" (Thanks, Troy, for the constant reminders!)

WHY?

2008-09-10T08:22:00.003-05:00

I haven't written for a long time.

WHY?

I can come up with a list of excuses a mile long.

But if I'm really committed to finding the answer to that question, and keep with it long enough, I'll get to the root - the cause - the real reason.

I've thought a lot about the question WHY in the last few months and I'm convinced that finding the answer to that question - in whichever context it is used - is the key to unlocking nearly all the subsequent questions in the universe.

Now I can ask WHY in at least two contexts: one is in a whining and victim-thinking mode that is externally focused. But that context doesn't get me to a true answer. When I'm really committed to understanding what's at the CAUSE of my challenges and upsets, that's when I'm going to find some real answers.

I've recently completed the book Building the Bridge As You Walk On It by Robert E. Quinn and I've hit a new level of understanding regarding personal change and transformation.

You'll want to read the book for yourself, so I'm not even going to get into a review here. Just know that coming to terms with your own personal WHY in any situation that frustrates or upsets you - and journaling about that question at least 5 times will get you much closer to the real reason for your frustration.

I'm reminded again of Byron Katie who says that defense is the first act of war, and war belongs on paper where we can really be objective and start questioning the thoughts that get us to the defensive mindset in the first place.

Start by asking WHY and you may not have to go anywhere else.

BE the change you wish to see in the world.

Connect with your purpose.

Ask WHY of yourself more often.

Emotions of Olympic Proportions

2008-08-24T22:22:00.000-05:00

Man, I'm a mess.

I don't know what it is about this year's Olympics, but from the moment I saw those electronic drums at the opening ceremonies to seeing the huge Olympic flame extinguished tonight, I'm buying stock in Kleenex.

There were so many amazing stories of heart and soul and grit and I felt privileged to be a part of the viewing audience.

I'm a former college basketball All-American so I know what it means to train hard and want to win so badly you can taste it. But I can't imagine everything that goes into the dream that only comes around every 4 years and then see that dream dashed in a heartbeat.

I'm thinking especially of Lolo Jones in the hurdles.

I was SO IMPRESSED with Lolo's interview immediately after her race. She was so poised and gracious after her fall at the 9th hurdle, but when they showed her later under the stadium my heart broke for her as she leaned against the wall sobbing.

Then there was Shawn Johnson who finally got her gold medal on the beam. And her Chinese coach coming home for the Olympics with his star student? Don't get me started. And I literally jumped up when Jonathan Horton completed his routine on the high bar last night.

Well, what can I say about Michael (he doesn't need a last name, does he?)? Here's a great article about Michael's sisters' influence referenced by Dave Rothacker at Joyful Jubilant Learning.

Then there's 41-year-old Dara Torres and her amazing silvers as well as the sportsmanship she demonstrated when she stopped her preliminary race to allow one of her competitors a chance to fix a ripped suit.

Among the other many amazing stories that touched me were these:

Those unbelievable handoffs in the relays that dashed Olympic dreams for at least 3 teams. The men's basketball team draping Coach K with their medals. Debbie Phelps in the stands. Natalie du Toit of South Africa competing with half a leg in the open water swim against able-bodied athletes. The men's volleyball team winning the gold while coach Hugh McCutcheon talks about the joy and the sorrow he's experiencing after winning the gold and losing his father-in-law to a random killer.

I'm so grateful that I had a chance to experience these special moments, even though it meant I didn't get nearly enough sleep these last two weeks.

I don't know what I'll do with myself now that this year's Olympics are over. I'll just look forward to 2012 in London.

And stock up on the Kleenex.

RETHINK

2008-08-20T07:32:00.000-05:00

As many of you may know, I sing with the City of Lakes Sweet Adeline Chorus and we are preparing for the international convention and competition in Honolulu the first week of November (I know, I know - but someone has to do it!).

This post is from a presentation I prepared for this week's rehearsal, but I think it applies to many aspects of life.

I have a simple green journal with the single word "RETHINK" on the front where I like to record thoughts. Here is what I observed last week:

Every result we either witness or produce in our lives starts first and foremost with a thought. And a thought is either a BELIEF or a KNOWING.

What’s the difference? - you may ask. A BELIEF is something that you’ve practiced over time without questioning it until it has become a HABIT. Examples of BELIEFS we may have are “I’ll never be good with money because no one in my family has ever been good with money” or “I’m not expressive because I’m Norwegian” or “That will never work because we’ve tried it before” or “I can’t ____________ because ______________.”

Any time you sense a “BECAUSE” it’s usually a signal that you feel the need to justify a BELIEF.

Many times BELIEFS get perpetuated because we just don’t question them – we treat them as facts without really thinking of them at all. “It’s just the way it is.”

KNOWINGS, on the other hand, may be thought of as those BELIEFS which have been challenged and found to be true. KNOWINGS are not just given to us from the outside, they come from the inside. You may not have proof for your KNOWING, but there’s really no need to prove or to justify what you KNOW.

When you examine the results your thoughts are producing OUTSIDE of you, it’s a really fun experiment to examine which results are produced from your KNOWLEDGE and which are from your BELIEFS.

Results don’t lie. Results just ARE what they ARE.

The really neat thing about realizing this distinction is that your present results are absolutely no indication of your future success.

So how does this relate to our chorus? Well, it may be obvious to some of us that we need to BELIEVE in ourselves, in our abilities and our talents. But to others that BELIEF may be something that has been handed to us from someone else. We know we are SUPPOSED to BELIEVE in ourselves, but we’ve never really taken the time to examine those beliefs. There may be some of us who have never really thought about what our results are showing us. We know we are SUPPOSED to believe that we can do anything, but our results aren’t proving that out. There may be a disconnect between what we BELIEVE (this is what someone else tells us we SHOULD do) and what we KNOW (this is what our gut … our intuition … tells us). Sometimes our KNOWING doesn’t match our BELIEFS – or our SHOULDS. There’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, that awareness gives us a lot of power because we get to make different choices.

So let’s say I’m new to the chorus and I really have no idea what all this competition stuff is about. I just don’t really know whether or not I can do everything the leaders are asking me to do – I don’t know what choreography is or how it fits into the entire picture. I might tell myself – based on some old conditioning – that I can’t move or emote or put it all together because, after all, “we didn’t do that in my high school choir.” I don’t really BELIEVE what I’m doing and I know I should, but I can’t seem to get it all together.

Or, let’s say I’ve been in this chorus for 10 years and I’ve heard this same stuff over and over. “They keep telling me to sing technically correct, but also to feel what I’m singing. I have to put my hand up here and get the arm extended at just the right angle. I know this stuff, but I just can’t do it good enough.” That’s a BELIEF – and it’s come from what you’ve told yourself over and over. “I’m not good enough.”

Or, let’s say I’ve been in this chorus for 5 years and I am totally excited about singing and emoting and being the best I can be. I just KNOW that our leadership is giving us every tool to succeed and if I just put my heart in the singing, everything else will take care of itself. I know WHY I come to rehearsal and I’m just letting that KNOWING carry me through. I don’t have to question every detail because I trust that if I put in the work to learn my music and my choreography, the music will sing from my soul. I KNOW that – I don’t have to have someone tell me that.

Sometimes what we say and what we really know are in conflict. If I tell myself I BELIEVE we can win the gold medal but I don’t really KNOW it (it hasn’t made it from my head to my heart), that will not produce the results I want. It will produce results, but they will be less than what I say I want – they will be congruent with my conflicted knowing.

If we challenge our old BELIEFS – those things that were told to us by someone else, even if it’s someone in this chorus telling me that I have to BELIEVE in us and in myself – we may find that we really did KNOW this stuff all along. And when we come to trust our KNOWING despite what someone else tells us or what we’ve told ourselves, that’s where the magic happens. When our KNOWING and our BELIEFS are in harmony, that’s when we make the most beautiful music.

What do you BELIEVE? What do you KNOW? Is there a difference? Challenge your old beliefs and start to get in touch with what you KNOW.

The RESULTS will speak for themselves.

Are you a HUBBIE?

2008-08-12T10:26:00.004-05:00

I have become very interested in a new organization called H.U.B. which stands for Humanity Unites Brilliance.

H.U.B. is a unique business model that delivers the answers to the Question,: “How can I GIVE to others and RECEIVE total abundance for myself?”

H.U.B. has assembled an action organization to move each of us, and our world, from survival to self sustainment and even abundance. Shifting out of the current “lack” paradigm of existence and into the “abundant” sustainability model is the single most significant decision we must each face today.

I'm embarrassed to say that I've been focusing locally for so many years that I haven't been really awake to global situations. What I'm learning is that if we want to raise awareness in our local communities - even down to the individual and personal development focus - we need to start making the shift in places where they just don't have access to the same information we do - places like Africa, for example.

I'm excited about H.U.B. for many reasons, not the least of which is my passion for learning and growing. I love that this organization sets up a marketplace where I can sell my books and connect with others who share similar passions so that I can learn globally and share globally.

I've written before here how enthusiastic I am about Peter Block's new book "Community." H.U.B. takes the concepts from Peter's book and blows them up to a worldwide perspective and that really resonates with me.

If you're interested in more information about H.U.B., click on the logo above, or let me know how I can give you more information.

Synchronicities Abound (just look around)

2008-07-30T10:34:00.005-05:00

Wow, that rhymes and I didn't even mean it to. That must be a sign, right?

I don't know about you, but every time I turn around these days I'm seeing the divine order of the universe. I know that might sound a little "woo-woo" but man, I can't think of another way to say it.

Here's the latest: one of the topics that's been coming up regularly over the past 6 months in my master mind groups is the conversation around the negative media or the bad news we keep hearing regarding elections, gas prices, war, education, etc. We're well aware of what we don't want, but so few of us shift that focus to what we do want.

So I've been sending these folks to Daryn Kagan's website, which is totally focused on good news. Now Daryn knows news. As a former CNN anchor, she's seen her share of bad news; in fact, she's been in the middle of it while on assignment for the war in Iraq, among other places. Please consider checking out Daryn's site. In her words on her site:

This isn't a "happy news," site. It is more focused than that. I would call it "hopeful" news. My mission and the motto of the website is to "Show the World What Is Possible!" one story at a time.

So we've been talking about Daryn and her inspiration in many of our master mind groups and in one of those groups, a woman told me that her sister, who works at CNN in Atlanta, is one of Daryn's best friends. She told me that Daryn was writing a new book and I would probably be interested in it. So I looked it up, but to be honest, forgot about it until I got an email from this friend in my master mind group who kept asking me if I'd gotten Daryn's book yet. I finally just went out and purchased it so I wouldn't have to tell her that I didn't have the book. When I responded to her that I now had the book, she said the reason she wanted to know if I had it was because she wanted to give me an autographed copy and wanted to make sure I didn't have it already!

So I haven't read Daryn's book yet, because I'm waiting for the autographed version which my friend told me should be in the mail to my house today! I can't wait to read it!

(Oh - and you might want to read about Daryn's trip to visit her friend Betsy (my friend Sharon's sister) here at their lake place near Fargo in Minnesota. You'll have to scroll down to the July 14 post.)

Here's Number Two synchronicity:

Yesterday in our Tuesday master mind group the topic of media came up yet again (I'm telling you, it comes up all the time!) and someone mentioned an article that was in our own newspaper The Forum that day (yesterday). As she started describing the typical front-page "bad news story" (the article was, after all, about a Fargo man who was beat up in a random act in Seattle while on a business trip), she added a really neat twist to the story.

I posted the story to my Facebook page on my profile (see it on my mini-feed; Hey, I'm starting to figure this thing out!) because I don't think the direct link works. If you can't get the story, let me know and I'll email it to you. There is good news in the midst of bad news if we'll just look a little deeper - or from a different angle.

That's what we're seeing here in Fargo in our master mind community (which now numbers nearly 150). When groups of like-minded individuals get together to focus their attention on possibility, there's no telling what can happen!

What are you seeing around you? If it's less than positive, maybe just a simple shift can help you see that there's always possibility, even in the midst of the "negative."

Slow to the party, but hooked already!

2008-07-29T18:57:00.000-05:00

OK, so I didn't get in on the craze at the beginning, but I'm officially a FBer!

Of course, I've known about Facebook (and MySpace) for a long time now, but didn't really join the bandwagon until I attended Bob Proctor's LifeSuccess training in late June.

I met Liz Zed there and she was shocked that I didn't have a Facebook page. I thought Facebook was for kids, but I guess Art Phillips had told me about it before that, too ... and he's no kid (no offense, Art, but ...).

So I made the leap. You can find me here.

So my question is, what's up with all the different social and business networking sites? Can anyone tell me why I should choose LinkedIn over Plaxo or Facebook over MySpace? And how the heck do you keep up with everything (I'm talking to you, Phil!).

Inquiring minds want to know. What's your routine for keeping everything straight? I'd love some hints and tips!

Catching up on summer reading!

2008-07-14T07:07:00.004-05:00

Hard to believe the summer is half over - that's how we look at the 4th of July here in North Dakota, the beginning of the second half of summer.

So one thing I have to show for the first half of the summer is a pretty good tan from sitting on my deck and catching up on my reading. That's the beauty of reading for a living - and working from home!

So far this summer I've finished Community by Peter Block, The Biology of Belief by Bruce Lipton, The Third Jesus by Deepak Chopra, my autographed copy of You Were Born Rich by Bob Proctor, and When Good People Do Bad Things by Debbie Ford.

Next on my list are my autographed copy of What's Possible by Daryn Kagan, Happier Than God by Neale Donald Walsch, Soul at Work by Margaret Benefiel, and a re-read of Building the Bridge As You Walk on It by Robert E. Quinn.

I've also finally joined the Facebook revolution (as of last night/this morning) so check me out! This whole social networking thing is almost overwhelming - how do you keep track of everything? Twitter, MySpace, Facebook, Linked In, Plaxo ... anyone have any suggestions for keeping it all straight?

I'll get back to that when I can figure out how to hide the glare on my screen on the deck.

In the meantime, I'll be cracking open the next book and sipping my lemon water!

What are you up to this summer?

Graphic on this post is by Anne Pentland (see more here).

Obama's in My Town!

2008-07-03T17:49:00.004-05:00

Although I wasn't able to go see him in person, Barack Obama was in my town today! One of his first comments was:

“It is fun to be in Fargo,” he said, “although I have to say that it doesn’t look like it does in the movie.”

We've gotta get a new image if we're all still talking about the movie 11 years later! :)

I'm going out on a limb and declaring an opinion here (usually I'm pretty hesitant to take a side on anything) by saying I'm ready for change - and I've been a Barack fan since he spoke at the 2004 Democratic Convention (and I enjoyed The Audacity of Hope, too).

I want to be clear that I'm not against McCain - I'm just standing FOR Obama!

Thanks for your visit to our fantastic state, Mr. Obama!

One More to Check Off the Vision Board!

2008-06-29T13:37:00.000-05:00

I created my vision board after watching The Secret umpteen times, but I didn't realize how important that visioning process was going to be!

So far I've been able to check off several people I've wanted to meet, including the latest: WAYNE DYER!

I met Wayne at Bob Proctor's Life Success Consultant training this past week when he spoke to our small group for nearly 3 hours. What a treat! He was exactly as I thought he would be - intelligent, wise, kind, gracious and amazing!

I'll write more about my experiences this past week in the next couple of days. It was fantastic!

(Here's me with Bob Proctor himself!)

Hold Your Vision - the Law of Attraction WORKS!

Revisiting This Blog's Title

2008-06-22T09:01:00.004-05:00

I've heard over the years of this blog's life from many people who have either agreed with or disagreed with the title of this blog.

"If I already know it, why should I read it?" was one question.

"How do you know what I already know?" was another.

The answer to both is, "I don't know (but you do)."

I'm learning more and more every day that it was no accident that I named this blog what I did back in 2004 when I began writing.

The phrase "we teach what we most need to learn" must have been coined specifically for me, because that's what I know for sure regarding my chosen career.

I really do know this stuff - I've just forgotten. And I've begun trusting that knowing more and more.

When I work with clients, I am notorious for spending hours and hours in preparation for a one- or two-hour presentation, tweaking my PowerPoint slides until two minutes before the presentation. Or I painstakingly attempt to conjure up every combination of question or comment that could possibly come up so I have at least some idea how to prepare.

What I'm (finally) learning is that it's taken my whole lifetime to acquire whatever information I've put into my head, whether that's learning through books or through experience. And there's a lot in there to draw from! My most useful contribution for my clients (and really for everyone in my life) is my presence, from which I can draw upon both knowledge and wisdom.

Complete presence and attention is something very few people ever experience from anyone in their lives, so when do we get a chance to practice it - whether giving it or receiving it?

So that's some of the stuff I already know and just needed a reminder.

What do you already know that you're not remembering? Is there anything that comes up for you that seems to connect with some inner knowing from way beyond your experience? Those are the cool serendipities and coincidences I'm confident you will start noticing when you become present.

Thanks to my master mind community and to Eckhart Tolle for reminding me of something I already knew - I learn so much when I just shut up and BE!

2nd Annual Bigger Small Talk Summit is History!

2008-06-12T23:09:00.002-05:00

There was plenty of Bigger Small Talk to be experienced in Fargo-Moorhead this week! More than 20 brave souls spent Day One in Open Space where we pondered topics like Building Community, Business Leadership for Love or Profit, The Power of the Group, Finding Your Joy/Inner Child, Being. Present., H.U.B. (Humanity Unites Brilliance), The Power of Now, Creative Meeting Places / My Third Place, Obstacles & Opportunities, and Small & Significant.

Needless to say, with those topics, our small talk was almost immediately much bigger!

According to the feedback form, participants especially liked the choice of topics, being able to openly express their thoughts, seeing a new concept at work, the ease with which everyone was able to participate, and the compassion, energy and excitement of the participants.

Dick Richards helped 25 people find and name their Genius at the Genius Workshop on Day Two.

Participants really enjoyed the opportunity to dig deeper and spend an entire day in reflection about themselves and their genius. And, as my new friend and blogging buddy David Zinger pointed out, the Bigger Small Talk Summit is now international! (David hails from Winnipeg, Fargo's northern neighbor.)

It was especially rewarding for me to spend two days with Dick and with David, and we're sending out a challenge to our other blogging friends to join us next year! Here's the tag for Phil Gerbyshak, Mike Sansone, Kammie Kobyleski, Robyn McMaster, Nick Smith, Debbie Call, Kirsten Harrell, Troy Worman, Terry Starbucker, Lisa Haneberg, and heck, Steve Farber! (Of course, anyone else reading this is MORE than welcome to join us, too! The more the merrier - and the bigger the small talk!)

Watch this blog (and Slacker Manager) for more information about next year's event (it will likely be in June right here in beautiful Fargo-Moorhead!).

The Everlasting Gobstopper Philosophy

2008-06-05T06:44:00.005-05:00

So, here's a trip down memory lane. Does anyone remember their favorite candies from their childhood? I was thinking the other day about the Marathon candy bar, a flat, braidlike stick of chocolate-covered caramel heaven, and that got me thinking about the other goodies from my youth that I don't see anymore.

Remember Bottle Caps? Wacky Wafers? Pop Rocks? OK, I'm probably showing my age now.

I even remember candy cigarettes. Not the chocolate ones, but the white crunchy ones that had some kind of powder around them which we would blow so it looked like we were actually smoking. My dad was a smoker, so it was no big deal to "smoke" in my house. How bizarre.

All this sweet nostalgia got me thinking about the everlasting gobstopper. Remember those big jawbreakers that started out one color and then changed to a different color and flavor the more you sucked on them? At the center was a sweet tart kind of core which you could get to if you were patient enough to keep licking the outside.

As I read Eckhart Tolle's A New Earth, I kept thinking about the everlasting gobstopper. Tolle tells us that our ego is outside ourselves - it is not who we really are at the core. When we can stop identifying ourselves as our ego, we will start to see that we really are all the same - at that core.

So my master mind groups have been talking about how our ego is all those layers of different colors and flavors we have put on the outside of our sweet center. That's not really who we are. At our core we are all connected - we are all the same.

So imagine my delight when I examined the cover of Peter Block's new book Community and saw that the dot on the i is a gobstopper!

We really are all connected!

What do you remember from your youth? What might it be telling you today? Watch the signs ... they're everywhere!